Page 91 of Afterglow

“I love him,” I whisper, keeping my eyes downcast, afraid she won’t believe I have a right to love her brother now.

She reaches for my hand and I look up, tears forming in my eyes to match the sheen in hers. “I know.” Her smile is slight, but it loosens something in me, enough that I can ask what I came here for.

“He says he loves me too…”

“Leanne,” Rebecca says, and there’s a shift in her tone. “I know better than almost anyone what Bryce looks like when he’s in love.”

I squirm under her stare, afraid of what she’ll say, afraid to be compared to the sister who was Bryce’s first love.

“He loved my sister and she loved him. It was always easy between them. I swear I never saw them fight. Their love was… soft. It was beautiful.”

I’m going to be sick. Bryce and I are nothing like that. My skin feels prickly and tight. I want to look away, but she squeezes my hand tighter.

“When she died… when they couldn’t save Sam… Bryce broke, and I worried his jagged edges would keep him from ever finding someone who could make him happy again. But then he met you.”

I choke on the words begging to be let out. “But I’m broken too, and there’s nothing soft or easy about us—”

“That’s not true, not entirely. You might think you’re broken, Leanne, but your jagged edges fit. His and yours. And finding a perfect fit when everything is stacked against you, when everything feels hard… That kind of love might be more beautiful than the effortless love he had with Sarah.”

I shake my head. “You can’t mean that.”

“I can, and I do. Of course he loved my sister, I’m not denying that, but the way he loves you is wholly different and it’s wholly yours—all of it. You just have to decide if you want it, all of it, because that’s what he’s offering you. His whole heart, in exchange for yours.”

I stare at her, this woman who is wise beyond her years, and I finally let myself believe.

The miles between the hospital and the ranch feel like a never-ending series of curves and bends. A physical manifestation of my relationship with Bryce from day one. A path I’m following in my brain after the conversation with Rebecca and the understanding it brought with it.

I thought I needed her reassurance that Bryce truly does love me—but really, I already knew he did. What I needed was something I didn’t even know to ask for, and that’s the knowledge that he loves me for me. Not because I’m pregnant, not because he has some void to fill. What we have is different from what he had with Sarah, from what I had with Craig. Our love is our own, influenced by our pasts but not defined by them.

The sign for the local ski resort, Bridger Bowl, looms ahead through my windshield and I realize I’ve been driving on autopilot for twenty minutes, hardly aware of how far I’ve come.

A yellow caution sign indicates a sharp bend in the road, and I lift my foot from the accelerator, heart racing. The snowfall is high in the mountains now, but the roads are wet, so I nudge my brake carefully. My tires grip the pavement, and I breathe a sigh of relief that I won’t go sliding around the curve. But the relief is short-lived when the view of an elk fills my windshield. My eyes go wide and my grip tightens on the wheel as I swerve, slamming hard on my brakes. This time my wheels lock, losing purchase on the wet asphalt.

In the split second before the passenger side collides with the huge animal, I wrap my arm around my middle, offering the only protection I can to the most important part of myself and praying it’s enough.

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

Bryce

The onesie in my hands drops to the pile of other miniscule clothes piled on my leather couch as I stumble for my ringing phone.

Please be Leanne. Please be Leanne.

Dammit. It’s Becca. Probably checking in—again—like she’s done too many times in the past twenty-four hours.

With a roll of my eyes, I swipe to answer. “I’m fine, Becca—”

“Bryce.” Her voice is firm and calm. Too calm.

My heart flies into my throat, the beating there making it hard to speak. “What’s wrong?” I croak the words.

“I need you to stay calm. Mom and Dad are on their way to pick you up—”

I cut across her. “What? Why? What happened?” Panic and bile rise together, everything burning, everything seizing… The sensation is horrifically painful and horrifically familiar.

“Leanne was in an accident, they just brought her in. I don’t know anything else yet, but you need to get to the hospital.”

No no no. No, I can’t—not again.