Page 83 of Healer’s Betrayal

“Okay.” I reach up and grab the back of the truck and pull myself up onto the step. It’s a little higher and harder to do than I thought it would be, but I manage to get up there and step over the back and into the bed of the truck. It’s clean and neat, since it’s a rental. Jackson climbs up behind me, making it look stupidly easy. I settle against the cab of the truck, and he sits next to me, being careful to keep distance between us. I take in the acres of land all around us and breathe out a long breath. “This is beautiful.” He nods in agreement, and we sit in silence a few minutes.

His low voice startles me when he starts speaking again. “I already told you that I left my pack at age fourteen; I’ve spent the last decade of my life making sure I was free to make the decisions I wanted to make. I’m the last person that would push you to do something you don’t want to do. Nobody, including me, is going to make you do anything you don’t want to do, Kayla.”

I take in his words. “But aren’t we like already...” I stumble, trying to find the words. “Mates or something?”

“Yes. You’re my mate; that will never change.”

I don’t face him; I find it easier to have this conversation without looking at him. He leans forward and starts unbuttoning his shirt. “What are you doing?”

He pauses and lifts his eyes to mine. “I’m taking off my shirt.”

“Why?” The word is a little harsher than I intend for it to be.

“Because I'm hot.”

“Oh.” Then I smile, because I can’t help it. “That’s because it’s like ninety degrees out, and you’re wearing a flannel shirt.”

“I am aware.”

His flat tone makes me smile. “You know, normal people wear shorts and t-shirts or tanks in the summer.”

“I’ve never been normal.”

His words sober me a little, and I think about his words. “I mean, I guess that’s true, seeing as you're a wolf and all that.”

“And all that,” he repeats. I think I detect humor in his voice. I turn towards him and freeze. He’s wearing one of those men’s black muscle shirts, so he’s not shirtless. But he may as well be. My eyes run over him, over the thick corded muscles of his biceps, the obvious muscles clearly visible through his shirt...but it’s the black markings all over his skin that catch and hold my attention the most. Okay, well maybe it’s a tie with the muscles.

“Holy...” my voice trails off because I have no clue what to say. “You weren’t kidding with the alpha marks, were you?” He doesn’t respond, and I resist the urge to reach out and run my fingers over the markings. “They’re beautiful,” I breathe and then chuckle. “But you’re a man’s man; you probably don’t want to hear that.”

“Beautiful?” he nearly chokes on the word, and I look up to see what looks like horror in his eyes.

I laugh. “Your face.”

“Please tell me you don’t find me beautiful.” His words are a desperate plea that only makes me laugh harder. “You really know how to kill a guy’s ego.” His words are so indignant, it makes me laugh all over again. The whole thing is absolutely hilarious. No one anywhere, ever would make the mistake of calling Jackson beautiful. He’s literally the most masculine man I’ve ever met with his ridiculous muscles, full beard, and wild hair. Add to that his hard jaw that looks like it’s made of stone and his hard eyes...yeah, no one’s describing him as beautiful.

I eye him. “Jackson, nobody is buying that you’re anything but a man’s man with those muscles and that jawline.” I bite my tongue because that was already more than I wanted to say out loud.

“I don’t care what anybody else thinks; I only care what you think.”

Chapter 35

Kayla

I look out across the fields. “So, this mate thing. Talk to me about it. Are we like married now? Do Noah and I have to move to wherever you live? I don’t know where that is, by the way. And what if I don’t want this? How does Renee fit into all this? And with me being what I am, does that mean I have to do anything? Or like, I don’t know, practice my healing? What happens if we try this thing and decide we don’t want to do it? What if you get to know me and decide you don’t like me? What if we have like no chemistry? What if...” my voice trails off as I suddenly run out of questions.

“Anything else?”

I wave a hand. “I know I’ve got a thousand other questions, but none are coming to mind at the moment.”

I don’t look over at him. Somehow, it’s easier to have this conversation without looking at him. It's quiet between us, and I wonder if he’s not going to answer any of my questions. Finally, he speaks. “I never wanted a mate, and my wolf agreed.” His words sting a little, and I feel the rejection deep. It’s stupid because I’m still not sure I even want to pursue a relationship with him, but the words still hurt. “My wolf is super dominant and very aggressive and never gives me a moment’s rest or peace. Add to that, my father and mother were not a good example, and I didn’t want a mate to slow me down. I’ve been fine with that thinking, fine for twenty-five years. And then I smelled your scent on Ava.” I hear him take a deep breath. “I’ve been chasing that scent, trying to find you for months. It was driving me crazy not knowing where you were, if you were safe. And then I finally met you.”

“And you realized what a mess I was?” I offer, trying to laugh it off.

He puts a hand on my knee, shocking me so much my eyes jerk to his. “I smelled your scent as soon as I stepped into the restaurant. But seeing you for the first time knocked the air from my lungs. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, both inside and out.” I don’t know what to say, and I seem to have forgotten the concept of breathing. I don’t know if he’s aware that he’s rubbing his thumb over my knee, but I am keenly aware of it. “And then something amazing happened.” I can’t find any oxygen, but I continue to stare into his bright blue eyes. “My wolf was calm. The entire time you were around, every time you’re around, my wolf is calm. You’re my mate, Kayla. I can tell you right now; I will never change my mind about you. My wolf and I have claimed you as yours. It is similar to marriage in the human world, with the exception of getting a divorce. Wolves never leave their mates. If you decided you didn’t want to be with me, I would let you go.” He pauses a minute, and his eyes darken. “I would try to let you go, but I would always make sure you were safe, Kayla. You’re mine, and that will never change.” He rubs the back of his neck with his other hand. “I will try to give you space and give you what you need. But I have to tell you. I have this need to make sure you’re safe, protected, happy; and it's not going to go anywhere. I’m not exactly a chill person.” I smile at that; I can’t help it. “I’m sorry you weren’t given a choice; I will always regret having to claim you as my mate while you were unconscious. But I don’t regret saving your life; I will never regret that. I’m not sure if I answered all your questions, but I know this. I choose you, Kayla. I choose you today; I choose you tomorrow, and I’ll choose you fifty years from now. That will never change. But,” he bends his head, so his eyes meet mine. “You have a choice. I won’t ever take that choice from you.” He turns his head slightly and then turns back to me. “Noah’s asking about you.”

I sit up straight. “We’ve been gone a while.”

He stands to his feet and puts a hand out, pulling me to my feet effortlessly. “We can get back.” He walks over to the end of the truck and hops down. I follow him and plan to jump down, but he surprises me by putting his hands up and grasping me around the waist. He lowers me to the ground like I weigh nothing. I expect him to step away, but he doesn’t. Neither does he drop his hands from my waist. I look up at him, wondering what he’s thinking. He stares down at me with intensity in his gaze. He lifts a hand and cups the back of my neck and tugs me gently forward. I barely breathe as he pulls me close. When he’s only a few centimeters away, he stops. “I want to try something,” he says in a voice so low, I can barely hear him.