Page 175 of Too Close To Home

Harrison stepped back a fraction, although his hands remained on Jake. “I’m still not ready. I’m carrying too much. Chris. London. Everything that happened before I came here.” He shook his head. “I don’t even know who I am without all of it yet. And I don’t know what I can give you while I’m trying to work that out.”

“Who’s asking you to give me owt?”

Harrison looked at him. “Jake.”

“What?”

“You want more than I can give.”

Jake chewed on that.

Did he?

Fuck.

Maybe he did.

That was a fairly horrifying development all by itself.

But Harrison was looking at him as if he’d already decided what more meant. As if Jake was waiting for promises. Commitment. Harrison neatly healed and ready to step into whatever came next without bringing any of the shit from before with him.

Jake hadn’t asked for any of that.

Christ, he’d barely worked out that he wanted Harrison to keep coming back.

“You know what your problem is?”

Harrison arched an eyebrow. “I suspect you’re about to tell me.”

“You think too fucking much.”

“That is something I’m prone to do. I am a detective inspector.”

“Aye, well, stop investigating me for five fucking minutes.” Jake cupped Harrison’s jaw, brushing his thumb over the rough line of stubble. “You don’t get to decide what I want before I know myself. And you definitely don’t get to decide what I deserve.”

“You deserve someone who isn’t still grieving his husband.”

Jake held his gaze. “You planning on stopping?”

Harrison frowned. “Stopping what?”

“Grieving him.”

Silence.

“Because I know that’s not how it works.” Jake shrugged. “So if I’m waiting for some magical day when you wake up and none of that hurts anymore, we might be here a fucking while.”

Harrison stared at him and Jake suddenly wondered if he’d massively overstepped. Wouldn’t be the first time.

“I’m not asking you to have everything sorted. Not even asking you for…” He gestured vaguely between them. “Whatever this is. I just know I like being around you. I fancy the fucking life out of you. And apparently, I care whether you’re alright, which is inconvenient as fuck.”

Harrison’s mouth twitched.

“So maybe that’s enough for now.”

“Enough for what?”

“Dunno.” Jake smiled. “Finding out.” He leaned closer, a whisper away from his lips. “Get to know me first, then you can decide I’m a terrible idea.”