Page 18 of Insatiable

“My heart will always beat for you, Tatum. Always. No matter what my past looked like, you are my future.” Sean jabs at his chest, his eyes are glassy and full of emotion. I blow out a breath and let the tears flow. Collapsing on the steps, I let my own sadness pull me under. I cry, my tears are cathartic, washing away the news of James's many indiscretions, and welcoming the feelings of those who really cherish and love me. I want to be stubborn and tell myself that this is for our own good. That this is not only dangerous for me but for them as well. But I can’t move, I know I belong with them. To them. Suddenly, I am lifted into the air, scooped up bridal style as Cace holds me close to his chest.

“I can’t bear to see you cry. I want to take away what you’re feeling, offer platitudes, but I won’t. What I can do is hold you. Let my love spread through you and settle on your heart. I think we’ve had enough profound realizations tonight. Don’t you?” He whispers in my ear as he continues to walk up the steps and towards the back of the house. I can hear footsteps behind us but after the extreme highs and lows of the past few hours I am physically exhausted.

“I—” I hesitate, holding my words inside, still trying hold on to my insecurities. I am, I don’t know if I am ready to open my heart up completely even when they have laid theirs at my feet. What woman wouldn’t leap at the chance to be with any of them. I have all three of them. They are mine. I am not letting them go. But I’m not ready to say that either.

“What do you need, Tatum?” Sean asks as Jay slides the back doors open and we all walk in. I burrow deeper into Cace’s arms, still feeling the chill that has settled deep inside me.

“Sleep, I want to sleep. Then tomorrow, we go to LA,” I say to them. This is my decision. I need to close this chapter of my life in order to move forward.

“Alright, then that is what we are going to do. I will let Detective Jones and Grant know we are coming,” Sean says with a sigh. I know he doesn’t like it, but he doesn’t argue.

“Let’s get you to bed, Tay.” Cace’s hold tightens around me as he climbs the stairs.

I lay on my back with my arm over my eyes. The only setback to having a house predominately made of glass is as soon as the sun starts to rise there’s no escape from the light. I want to stay in the darkness for just a while longer, to relish in this moment of Tate asleep by my side. In the light of the day, will she roll over and remember she asked us to stay in bed with her last night and regret it? Or will she brush it off? I hope not. I hope that we got through to her. I hope she understands this is it for all of us. I saw it in her eyes. The moment the shutters came down and she wanted to run. I was as shocked as she was as we listened to Sean and Cace relay the conversation with the detective. As I was listening, I was already typing furiously on my phone trying to get any new information from the techs in my consultant company. I am paying them over time to find me any digital crumbs they can find to locate James. The moment Tate said she wanted to go home, it was an all or nothing moment. I knew then if we didn’t do something to stop her, we would lose her again. This time, she wasn’t going to get to walk away. It felt like déjà vu all over again. The memory of eight years ago still haunts me.

“Tatter-tot. I know you wanted to keep things platonic between the four of us. But these last few months we’ve all been battling with our emotions. Even you.” I place my hands in my pockets and lean against the wall. Sean and Cace both sit opposite Tate on the couch in her apartment. Only a few days are left until we all go our separate ways. I don’t want to leave here without solidifying our relationship.

“What does it matter, Jay? It wouldn’t work anyway. Long distance relationships don’t work. You’re asking too much of me right now. I don’t want to choose. I want you all in my life,” Tate frantically says looking at all three of us with panic in her eyes.

“We can always visit. We can take things one month at a time.” Cace takes her hand, but she pulls away, his words of reassurance have the opposite effect.

“What do you want, Sean?” Tate asks.

“You. But I also know that we all want different careers, we've all got our own ambitions going forward, and I don’t know if it’s ideal to even try. Maybe, if you decide you want to be with one—”

“No! I didn’t even know I wanted any of this until recently. You—all of you—mean so much to me. I will not choose. I would rather walk away and leave it just as we are: friends. Choosing will break us apart. Staying together will eventually break us apart. Let’s enjoy the last few days we have with each other and then we can look back on this and be grateful for this wonderful thing we had.” She smiles softly, sadness in her eyes from a decision that is final. No one spoke then because maybe she was right. I don’t know what the future will hold for me. None of us do, all I know is that I want Tate.

“That’s it then. You want to walk away from us. Tay, you can’t be serious. I . . . don’t want to do this without you.” Cace turns to face her. I turn away from the scene entirely. I wasn’t going to watch his pleas fall on deaf ears. I know once Tate made up her mind, that was it.

“I am serious. We go our separate ways. I’m not—” She pauses, blowing out a long breath before she continues. “Live your lives, become the successful men you’re meant to be. We will still be friends,” she says with a shrug and a hopefulness that makes my chest ache.

“You know just as well as I do that this is it,” Sean says as he gets up from the couch. I don’t hear him leave, but the sound of her apartment door slamming tells me all I need to know.

Soft fingers stroke my face. The memory of the past fades away into nothingness as I move my arm away from eyes and look into the face of my destiny. Tate smiles down at me, and to my surprise bends down to kiss my lips. As our mouths touch and I feel my anxiety of the past ease away. She is here. She is present. I reach up with my hand and grab the back of her neck, gently holding her in place and deepen the kiss. Tate’s hands are splayed open on my chest, her breasts are crushed against me as our tongues dance together. Her warm body chases away the chill of my memories, and I want more of it.

“Tatter-tot.” I pull away from the kiss and stare into her eyes. Nothing is said, the things I want to say, the questions I want to ask go unspoken. I have expressed my feelings, and she knows that my heart is hers.

“You said to ask,” she says with a smirk. Her voice is still raspy from sleep. She is sexy without trying. Hair still growing back, sticking up in different directions, and still in her clothes from last night. This is us. This is real. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

“Are you asking, Tatum?” The bed dips behind her as Sean wakes up, not missing a beat. I feel him move closer, his arm wraps around her waist and her back arches as he places a kiss in the middle of her back. I wasn’t sure I would be able to share her together like this but watching her respond to him has my dick stirring in my pants. Tate shifts to her knees, one of her thighs touches mine, while the other is next to Seans’ and her eyes lock with ours.

“I’m taking,” she says as she leans over Sean. He meets her halfway as their lips collide in a hungry kiss. Their first kiss. Sean groans into her mouth, one part relief, the other longing as he pulls her over his body. Tate straddles his waist, their kiss unbroken as they continue to tongue fuck each other.

“Fuck! I didn’t think I would like to watch but damn this is hot.” I turn on my side, propping myself up on my arm as I watch them devour each other. Easing my hand down into my sweatpants I grab my dick and squeeze it hard, running my hand up and down my length slowly. It’s been a while and the last thing I want to do is come over my hand like a teenage boy.

“You’ve got too many clothes on, Tatter-tot. Strip for me, beautiful,” I say, my voice is strained as Sean sits up in the bed quickly and pulls Tate up with him until his back is hitting the padded headboard. Tate looks over at me, lips swollen, pupils blown with lust, her chest is heaving, but she smiles. It’s a fuck me smile, and my God, it’s driving me crazy.

“Tatum, baby, do you want me to beg? Strip, baby girl, or do you want me to do it for you?” Sean groans, his head is tipped back, and eyes closed as she grinds down on his dick.

“Where’s Cace?” Tate asks as she pulls her oversized sweater over her head tossing it to the floor, revealing an emerald-green lace bra. My mouth waters as I think of all the nights I fantasized about her beautiful breasts. Those lingerie sets were an excellent choice, and I can’t wait to buy her more.

“You know, Cace, he has a hard time sharing. We are going to have to ease him into group activities,” Sean says as he pulls off his own shirt and tosses it to the floor. Not one to be left behind, I start to pull off my clothes as well.

“And you two don’t mind sharing me?” Tate arches a brow in question as she stands up in the middle of the bed. With Sean still underneath her she slowly slides her leggings off. I stand, pulling off my sweatpants before laying back on the bed, completely naked with my dick in my hand. If she doesn’t want me this morning, it won’t matter, as long as I can come with her in my sights I will be satisfied. Stroking my dick again, my eyes roam over her body not missing the scar from where she was shot. If she was insecure about it, she doesn’t show it. She doesn’t need to be, and that only makes me love her more. She knows she is safe, with no shame or judgement from us. We are past that.

“I’m going to eat those panties, Tatter-tot,” I groan at the sight of the matching emerald-green lace panties. Cace’s favorite color and he is missing out. “No, I am going to wear them around my neck and make Cace jealous.” Sean shakes his head at my antics, and I laugh.

“You’re ours. I don’t care who I am sharing you with or if it’s just us alone. I’m yours, Tatum.” Sean grabs the back of her thighs and pulls her towards him again. Tate walks up his body until her pussy is just inches from his face. She looks down at him and Sean’s nose brushes up against the thin lace fabric.