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But wait, there's MORE. The plot thickens, darlings!

Remember how I told you B. Ardent's paintings sell for millions? Well, according to my source in the art world (yes, I contain multitudes), Sebastian donates most of it. Apparently, this recent show, all proceeds—EVERY SINGLE PENNY—went to MS research foundations.

MS. As in Multiple Sclerosis.

As in the condition Derrick Shaw's mother has been battling since he was a child.

I am DECEASED. Someone check my pulse because I cannot with these two.

@HockeyMomOf3: Wait so he's been secretly funding research for his boyfriend's mom's disease? Is this real life?

@VipersVixen: If someone painted me like that AND donated millions to help my family I'd marry them yesterday.

@StanleyCupCake: I'm not crying you're crying shut up

But hold onto your jerseys, because this rollercoaster isn't over. Rumor has it the Vipers' GM is FURIOUS about the whole situation. Not because of the gay thing (it's 2025, people), but because Sebastian didn't disclose his "significant outside income" when negotiating his last contract.

Apparently, there's some clause about "financial transparency" that could potentially void Sebastian's $8.5 million contract.

Which means the league's best goalie could suddenly be a free agent.

Which means Toronto might try to swoop in and get him. #smellthebloodinthewater

Which means Derrick and Sebastian could be SEPARATED.

@PuckDaddy: If they split up these two, I will burn the NHL to the ground.

@IceIceBaby: Toronto management better not even THINK about it.

@BlueLineBreaker: Wait, so we could have TWO elite goalies?? YES PLEASE!

Word on the street is an official statement is coming. I'll believe it when I see it and you know ya gurl will be here to dissect every word. If the Vipers know what's good for them, they won't bite the hand that feeds them. Cough. Cough. Famous artist. Famous Goalie who every franchise will be scrambling to grab up if this goes south.

I'm setting up a live stream for tomorrow because this situation is developing faster than a breakaway with Groves on the ice. Make sure you've got notifications turned on!

#ArtAndIce

#GoalieGayLove

#ProtectThemAtAllCosts

Y'all, I haven't been this invested in a hockey romance since. . .well, since the whole Torrance Bailey and Alexis Rhodes debacle. This is unprecedented territory and I am HERE FOR IT.

Sipping the hottest tea and passing it to you,

Hattie out.

TWENTY-SIX

DERRICK

“The Seattle Vipers organization is aware of recent public interest surrounding veteran goaltender, Sebastian Bergeron, known in the international art world as B. Ardent, as well as his personal relationship with fellow Vipers player, Derrick Shaw.

Sebastian’s contributions both on and off the ice speak for themselves. His identity as an artist was never subject to disclosure under the terms of his contract, nor did it interfere with his performance, commitment, or representation of the franchise. At no point has his work or persona intersected with team branding, league property, or public endorsement agreements. His off-ice pursuits remain his own, and we respect his right to privacy.”

“Derrick Shaw was brought into the Vipers organization on the recommendation of our coaching and development staff. His talent, potential, and resilience made him an ideal fit for the future of our team, and we continue to support him in his recovery journey.”

“We are proud to uphold a culture of inclusivity, integrity, and excellence. All of our athletes are held to the highest standards of professionalism, and we recognize that strength takes many forms—on the ice, in personal passions, and in the courage it takes to live authentically.”