Page 115 of Nothing to Fear

There was no sorting through how he’d demolished Willow. No sorting through how the miracle of her wanting to be with him felt like a mistake.

Gideon took the bag, resigned to his place in the world. Monsters didn’t get happily-ever-after, even if they worked for the good guys. He hopped in the SUV. “Let’s go do what we do best.”

He stared at the Jeep as they pulled out of the lot, his heart crumbling to ashes. He’d been too dense to understand Kelli’s perspective, to learn the lessons she’d tried to teach him.

Here he was, screwing up. Again. He loved Willow—and God, wasn’t this the perfect way and time to figure it out—but hadn’t given her the respect to let her choose, one way or the other, what she wanted for herself.

He didn’t have time to fix it. Going out with his brain fuzzy and his heart conflicted was a surefire way to come back in a body bag, and right now, his only concern had to be saving Laurel and bagging Daedalus for real.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he cleared the zone—of Willow, mistakes, love—leaving nothing but the steady beat rapping away in his head.

43

Gray Box Headquarters, Northern Virginia

Monday, July 8, 6:00 p.m. EDT

This was Sanborn’s Benedict Arnold?

Spotless personnel file. No red flags. The one person who knew the inner workings of black ops firsthand from experience and was the supervisor of analysis, privy to all current operations.

Through his suspended state of disbelief, the sting of betrayal still set his teeth on edge.

Desperate times called for him to do something unprecedented. In violation of protocol, he allowed topside security to enter the sub-facility. Sanborn didn’t want Maddox or Daniel to be the ones to restrain Amanda. Too many messy emotional ties with those two.

Sanborn had ordered topside to haul Judas into Interrogation Room 1 with a Glock pointed at the back of her head and handcuff her. No explanation, not a word spoken to her.

He wanted her to squirm. He wanted her sweating bullets.

Now, thirty minutes later, he sat across the table from Amanda, studying her as she stared at the printouts of the damning evidence Willow had unearthed.

“Is it you?” Sanborn asked. “Are you Daedalus’s insider?”

She didn’t have a leg to stand on, and if she tried, there wasn’t anything she could say to convince him that she wasn’t guilty. But he was curious to see how she’d respond.

Amanda swallowed hard, her gaze staying lowered. “Yes, it’s me.”

Sanborn had expected feigned indignation, some smooth-tongued explanation. Not for her to take the high road of admission. Although she looked like a trapped animal eager to scurry into a deep, dark hole.

For the life of him, he didn’t understand why. Amanda had been one of the good ones. An idealist with ironclad values willing to sacrifice for the sake of the country. She didn’t have gambling debts, no high-end lifestyle that exceeded her means. She wasn’t a greedy opportunist selling out her country for money and had been dedicated to the Gray Box—to him. Or so it’d seemed. It left him confused and rather vexed, his mind spinning with questions.

“How could you do it?” he asked. “You compromised Maddox on a mission. Endangered her life. I thought you two were as close as sisters. She’s the godmother of your kid, for Christ’s sake.”

A pitiful tear slid down Amanda’s cheek. She looked at the one-way glass, rightfully assuming Maddox was on the other side. “I swear on my life, I never wanted anything to happen to you. I knew someone dangerous was interested in the auction to buy a bioweapon. Once I leaked the information that a Gray Box operative would be there, I thought he’d back off. No sane person would’ve risked the heat and still gone to the auction.”

“You gave that psychopath”—Sanborn stabbed the table with a finger—“Aleksander Novak, her home address.”

“He wasn’t supposed to hurt her.” Amanda faced the glass again. “You’re smart, Maddox. Always prepared. You never let your guard down, not even at home. Rather than him getting the drop on you, I thought for certain you would’ve killed him.”

Did Amanda have any idea how much bigger this was? The magnitude of her actions? All that had been jeopardized?

“You nearly caused a whitewash,” Sanborn said. “You risked the lives of a lot of good operatives. Not just Maddox. All of them trusted you. I trusted you.”

Amanda’s shoulders dropped, and she took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. If I could go back, do things differently, I would’ve…” She shook her head as if lost for words, tears falling down her cheeks. “I don’t know. Everything I did was for my son. And I don’t regret saving his life.”

“Your son? What does Jackson have to do with this?”

“Daedalus got to me through Jaxi, shortly after he was diagnosed with leukemia.” She whisked away tears, the restraints on her wrists jangling. “He approached me in the hospital after the doctor told me none of the treatments were working. Daedalus pretended to be a rep from a pharmaceutical company, running trials for an experimental drug that might help. He baited me. Reeled me in.”