Page 133 of Nothing to Fear

“Are you cold?” Maddox asked. “I can turn on the heat.”

“No. I’m not cold. Did Gideon say why he didn’t want to talk to me?”

Maddox turned the radio on low. “I don’t know what happened while you two were on the run, but I can guess. If he’s distant now, don’t take it personally. He just doesn’t form attachments.”

“But he did. We did.” A mind-blowing, life-altering bond that had changed her forever. And it wasn’t one-sided. Of that she was certain.

“Maybe you read into things.” Maddox shrugged. “Took it for more than good sex.”

Willow didn’t know much about men or relationships, but she knew, down in her soul, what they’d shared had been an amazing connection. Over the last few days, she’d seen the many facets of Gideon—from Reaper, the hardened assassin, to the gentle lover who’d opened a new world of sensation. More than that, he was the one person she’d ever been herself around. No inhibitions. No limits. No pretense. The sense of belonging and intimacy had been real.

The rain picked up to a torrent. She pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes. What if the things he’d said, the way he’d touched her was all part of his charm and meant…

Everything to her, and nothing to him.

Was it possible that he’d felt nothing? That the bond she would’ve sworn they’d forged had only been in her head?

With no experience for comparison, she clenched her hands in her lap, turned to Maddox, and spewed the details of what had transpired between her and Gideon. The intimate conversations, the intense lovemaking. How he’d broken his pseudo Vegas what happens on the boat stays on the boat rule by sleeping with her in the hotel. The way he’d held her, the tender affection he’d showered on her.

When she finished talking, an awkward silence ensued.

Did she make a mistake by telling her? “What do you think?” Willow asked.

Maddox stiffened. “Gideon is my best friend. A brother in every sense besides blood. Not once in the nights he slept on my sofa after his wife died or when I helped him pack that bitch’s stuff—sorry to speak ill of the dead—did he tell me she’d cheated for two years. And had filed for divorce.”

A pang of guilt stabbed Willow for divulging the specifics, but the only way to test her theory was by sharing some of what they’d discussed to see if it held the sacred value she’d assigned to it.

She didn’t need to get into the granular details of his other secrets, violating the trust he had put in her further, even though he was acting like the biggest jerk.

“Why would he share personal things with me if he didn’t care? Why say all those sweet things to me in the hotel? Why call me his starling?” Why end it in a parking lot, like she was disposable? “Do you think it was just…good sex?”

“Hell no, I don’t. Sounds like it was a lot more. For both of you.”

Willow should’ve been relieved at Maddox’s answer. Her instincts about Gideon were right. But she had to beat back tears. She refused to dissolve into a pitiful mess, not in front of hardcore, tough-as-nails Maddox. Willow could use an ounce of her strength.

Who was she kidding? She’d settle for a single gram.

“Should I go to his place and see him?” Willow asked.

“No, no. Absolutely not.”

“But why?”

“Give this thing between you and him a chance to settle.”

“For how long? A day? Should I go talk to him tomorrow night?”

“Tomorrow, Gideon and Castle are driving to Norfolk to pick up Hannah Davis. She gets back from a cruise, and he wants to make sure she gets home safely. Daedalus found out about her and threatened to harm her.”

“Oh no.”

“Hannah is fine, and Daedalus is dead. Gideon is taking precautions.” Maddox glanced at Willow. “How would you feel if when you saw him again, you two tumbled into bed, had earth-shattering sex and a lovey-dovey moment, and the result was still the same?”

Willow winced, unable to digest that possibility.

“Exactly. Do not go see him.”

“What am I supposed to do?”