Page 58 of I Want to Know What Love Is

But at least I have the excuse that he’s been throwing himself at me since I laid eyes on him. So what if I’ve been salivating and teasing him, busting his balls. We’re both stupid.

But there’s no excuse for what happened today because that was on me. I made the first move and it was my call to indulge so thoroughly. I shudder at the memory of him between my legs, then I get hit immediately with a wave of guilt as Emily’s star struck eyes watch me and wait for a response.

“He was fine.” I pause and take a breath because I really am concerned that Emily’s crush is going to hurt her, and possibly the team if it affects her play, because it’s not going to end well since Dylan has no interest in her. “Tell me, Emily, seriously, why do you like Dylan? And don’t say it’s because he’s hot.”

“Well he is,” she giggles. “But there’s more.

“He’s smart and funny.”

“But you don’t really know him, do you? And as far as I can see he’s a player and not worthy of you. He’s very fast, I hear. Not your type.” Her face falls and she’s an open book showing all her disappointment. I’m doing the right thing to talk her out of her crush because it’s not going anywhere. A twinge of guilt attacks me for accusing Dylan of being a player since I have no evidence of it. But he’s a master flirt, isn’t he? That skill didn’t come from being a wallflower and avoiding girls. He got his practice in somehow didn’t he?

Why am I discouraging her so hard? Because he’s interested in me? Maybe. But that’s not going anywhere either so maybe I should be lecturing myself. I’ll do that later. Emily recovers and lifts her chin in defiance.

“I see him with his team mates at Wildbeast Pizza and he’s never hit on anyone there. Are you sure he’s a player? I mean I know some of the guys are, but… not Dylan.”

I shrug because I can only bad mouth him so much before I feel my soul darkening to soot.

Maybe I’m using the wrong tactic. Maybe I ought to show her who he is and he can discourage her himself.

“Emily, how would you like to do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

“You’re taking Finance, right?”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Dylan

For the first time I’m late arriving for my tutoring session with Coach—with Amanda. I scoff at myself because I don’t have the right, but I stole it anyway, to call her Amanda.

I’m not even sure what we’re doing, if we’re pretending to have tutoring or if we’ve cancelled them altogether

But I’m showing up because I can’t stay away, can’t squander a possible opportunity to see her.

I knock on her office door. Then taking a deep breath I grip the door handle and turn.

It opens.

“Amanda?” I walk inside and she’s sitting there with Emily. There’s two chairs in front of her desk. Emily looks at me, eyebrows raised and the unmistakable mask of adoration I see all over campus in at least half the young ladies. The other half are blessedly ignorant of my existence and I’m thinking right now I should run and find myself one of those girls because I’m crazy for being here, for indulging this crush or whatever the hell it is I have for Amanda. Because I know it’s not healthy for my football prospects.

“First name basis? Wow.” Emily smiles, inviting me in.

“Hey, Emily. What’s up?” I smile back and take a seat in the other chair. Then I look at Amanda for confirmation that she’s stooped to calling in a chaperone for our tutoring session.

But I’m wrong. Pathetically wrong.

“Emily is doing me a favor today, subbing in for me because I have another appointment that I forgot to mention to you. Sorry it’s so last minute.” Amanda is all false bright smiles as she stands and grabs her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. I stand.

“No don’t leave. You stay. Dean Lassiter expects you to get your tutoring in and I know there are people who watch and tell around here, so we don’t want to get you in trouble.” She’s talking fast and avoiding my eyes like a guilty little girl. Or a woman with a secret she could get in big trouble for. And that would be me.

Now I’m her big trouble. Fuck.

“You’re right. Of course. Thanks for getting me a substitute tutor.” I clear my throat as she goes to the door and looks back at me. Her smile falters and her eyes get that look that makes my heart squeeze tight, that vulnerable look.

“Thank you for understanding, Jonesy.” Her voice is far too sincere for a casual situation, but if Emily notices the softness, the vulnerability, she doesn’t show it. She puts a hand on my arm and starts right in. But it doesn’t take more than a minute to see she has more in mind than Finance 101. Fuck. And she’s not shy like Heather. Double fuck.

“This should be fun,” she says. “At least more fun than finance usually is.” Her hundred watter should blind me because she’s cute and enthusiastic and lively, but it does nothing but alarm me because her interest is as transparent as gin and I have not even a flicker of interest in her. Still. Fuck, but life would be so simple if I did. I shake my head and chuckle.