Page 4 of Your Kiss Is On My List

I dream about our kiss that night. Only in my dreams, the kiss grows into much more, because once again, I’m a horny teenage boy.

Chapter 3

TREY

I was right about the torture of seeing Dani grow up. The next year in high school, both Lou and Dani took the social scene by storm, like they were in some kind of competition to see who could rack up more boyfriends and also put me through my paces to make sure none of the guys they saw got anywhere past second base. I wanted first base to be the line in the sand, but Lou negotiated, persuading me that was unrealistic. Since I’m relying heavily on intimidation and the honor-system, I know I don’t have the power I’d need to hold her back anyway.

Lucky for all of us, I was a senior and we only endured one year of the torture before I left for SPU. It was especially lucky for me because I knew I couldn’t keep protecting them and I couldn’t stand to see when Dani would inevitably fall for someone special. Because was special.

And the sin of it was, I wished every single day that year that I could be her someone special.

Bane’s laugh brings me from my memory-lane stupor and I automatically scowl at him. Lou looks a little too interested. But when isn’t she interested in a guy? She’s a shameless flirt and though she blames it on learning from me, I take no credit.

“Let’s get out of here, Bane. Even QB’s need to work out.”

“You can go ahead without me, Eagle Scout—” That’s his nickname for me because he thinks it annoys me. Lou laughs, but not Dani.

“Hey what’s that supposed to mean?” she says. “Trey is the best guy—best big brother in the world. You should aspire to be like him in every way.” Bane opens his mouth and his face takes on a comically confused look like he’s not sure if she’s fucking with him or serious.

“She’s serious,” Lou says. “Plus she’s right about him being the best big brother. You don’t have a problem with him, do you?” There might be a microscopic speck of worry in her voice, but nah, Lou doesn’t waste her time worrying about me. In fact she’s the only one who gives me credit for getting over the horrific skating incident, because of course I’m over it. That was nine years ago and I didn’t let it keep me from the ice. I doubled down.

“No, no, we’re fine.” Bane puts his hands up. “We’re all good. I.” He looks around then shoves away from the table, picking up plates. “I told Majik I’d help her around the kitchen… until the new kitchen help gets here.”

“Ooh-kaay,” I say. “Can I walk you ladies out?”

“Sure. I know when I’m not welcome.” Lou sniffs. “You can come out and get your care package from the car. Because of course Mom sent a fu—”

“Lou,” I say, a warning not to disparage our mother. There’s always been a small friction between her and Mom. Lou claims I’m the favorite. I usually retort that if I’m Mom’s favorite then she’s Dad’s and she shuts up. We’re both right, but only to a small degree. And we both feel bad about it, but only to a small degree.

“She sent you a care package. As always.” She flips her bag over her shoulder as she stands and nods at Dani who always turns into Switzerland whenever there’s a crack about conflict involving our parents. Dani is—or she used to be—convinced that our parents are perfect, that we have the perfect family. She’s either blind or too good and decent to see anything bad in anyone else. Probably both.

We go outside and the icy wind reprimands me for not throwing on a jacket. All I’m wearing is my SPU hockey hoodie. Lou’s hatchback is parked behind mine in the driveway and the back is filled with luggage and boxes.

“There’s barely enough room in here for you two,” I say, opening the hatch as I spot the familiar plastic container with my name on it.

“I know,” Dani says, wrapping an arm around Lou’s shoulders though Lou is taller by several inches. “Lou’s so good to drive me up here with all my stuff.”

“I suppose you’re too busy to help us unload this shit?” Lou says, Dani cringes and covers her mouth.

“Stop it. We can handle it without Trey—”

“No problem. Of course I’ll help you. Some of these boxes look heavy.” I’m an idiot for not offering right away, too caught up in ancient history, old teenage drama that means nothing anymore. Dani’s the same warm-hearted girl she always was, though more gorgeous than ever, my conscience needs to remind me.

And aren’t I past that stupid adolescent shit? I’m fucking twenty-one years old and need to get a grip, get past a nonexistent high school crush I thought she had on me. Get over the fact that I’m in the friend zone forever no matter how attractive she is. There are plenty of other gorgeous girls on campus who don’t insist that I’m their honorary older brother, right? I shut down the screaming in my head that not only are there no other girls like Dani here at SPU, but that her appeal is so much more than even the sum of her killer looks, her positive outlook, generosity, and uncanny people smarts.

“Let me put the cookies away and grab a jacket. I’ll meet you over at Kappa Kappa Gamma.”

“You’re sure?” Dani says.

“Of course he’s sure. He’s a good big brother, remember?” Lou says with enough sarcasm to deserve the middle finger I hold up in her direction as I trot back toward the house. She cackles like she’s eight years old, and Dani mock-scolds her friend, and laughs her musical laugh that follows me, making me shiver, warning me to squash any rejuvenation of that old crush.

But the way my body vibrates tells me the so-called crush was always more than a crush and that it’s not old. It’s new again. And I’m the one who has it.

There was a reason I avoided her for the last three years. Seeing her now reinforces the wisdom, but also churns up a massive wad of guilt because she’s treating me the same as she ever did: warm and loyal and fucking sisterly.

Chapter 4

DANI