Page 80 of The Big Puck

The same way the excruciating pain I feel right now is because he’s hurting. So very bad.

“The problem with Gavonza… It’s temporary,” I say because it’s automatic for me to find a way, to see some hope.

He shakes his head. “I can’t promise—”

I grab his arms and shake him—or try to, but he’s solid and immovable. “You can. You have control of—”

“Absolutely nothing.”

Chapter 30

SPENCE

Emotions choke me until I’m confused, broken and horrified, like I just lost something big. Lainey? I don’t think so. How could that be when I never really had her? I turn away from her, too stunned to talk. Too weighed down to make sense of how I feel except heavier somehow.

Throwing on my clothes in silence, because even her tears are silent, I pick up my coat and bag and go to the door. My chest tightens until I can hardly breathe and I force a deep ragged breath.

“I have to go.” I look over my shoulder at her and my heart wrenches as she turns to me, her beautiful big blue eyes glossy with tears.

“I know,” she rasps, and a small smile lifts her mouth. My chest sears with burning pain like its cracking open. “I’m sorry, Spence. For slapping you when you were only trying to do the right thing. Go. Good luck with the game tonight.”

“Who needs luck when I have…” my words die when my mind fills in with the word you. I clear my throat and finish my sentence the way it needs to be finished. “I have a great team.”

She nods, sad and smiling at the same time.

I don’t wait, don’t even check the hall first when I meant to, but it’s empty when I step out of the room and pull the door shut behind me.

I catch a cab to the arena and call Kap to round up team to get them here early for a skate.

An hour later while I’m watching the guys skate from the bench, I notice out of the corner of my eye a woman walking from the tunnel to the boards.

It’s Lainey. What the fuck is she doing here? My unasked question is answered when she takes her phone from her bag and starts taking pictures. She shouts at the players as they come by and takes shots at them. She interacts though I don’t know what they’re saying, but I see the laughter and the kind of antics they resort to for her photos.

I blow my whistle. “Alright guys. That’s enough with the photo shoot. Let’s get serious and focus. Line up for a penalty shot drill.” It’s not something I normally do, but the guys love it and it gets them laser focused.

Lainey finally looks in my direction. That’s when I become aware of my deep scowl and I turn away because she has a accusing grin on her face like she’s laughing at me. If she was sad about how we left things earlier—seriously messed up—she’s over it now. She carries no baggage.

Kap joins me on the bench with his clip board and we go over Buffalo’s line up and talk about our best line configurations to match them, especially to go against Buffalo’s star slap shooter, known as number nine.

“Hey Spence,” Lainey calls out. I look up automatically. “Don’t look so tragic. We’re going to win tonight. My money is on you.”

Kap chuckles and slaps my back as I watch Lainey walk away, seeing the stunning body underneath all her clothes in my mind’s eye and I draw in a deep futile breath to reset.

“Quite a lady you got there. I guess she’s taking Tina’s place doing the social media stuff.” He winks. “Lucky for you.”

I scowl at him. “What do you mean by that?”

“You and she are… you have something going, right?”

I stare at him and don’t know what to say. I know I can trust Kap, know he’s not someone I want to lie to—not that I want to lie to anyone. Then again, do I really have something going with Lainey?

Not after this morning.

I shrug. “Might have. Not so sure. It’s not something I planned on.”

“I hear you. Women can be fucking inconvenient sometimes. Cupid can strike at the moment when you’re least ready and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.”

“Cupid?” I snort. “This is not about Cupid. I’m on a mission here, Kap. You know that.”