Page 104 of The Cheerleader

I let out a derisive chuckle, unable to stop it. “She provoked him. He would hit her, and she would call me. What really scared her was him hitting anyone else. She always made sure his anger was aimed at her. No matter who got in trouble, she always took the blame, made sure she was the worst, the one he would aim his rage at.”

“Oh my god.” Susie puts her hand to her mouth and squeezes her eyes shut. “That’s so like Liz. I should have known.” She opens her eyes, and I kiss her, a feathery touch to her lips, reassurance. The smile comes from deep down, pure and unscarred, undamaged by life and the brokenness of people she trusts.

“When she called me, I would console her and threaten to go over there, but she begged me not to, said she wouldn’t call me anymore if I came over and got myself in trouble.” I snort, remembering. “I only went there once.”

“The day I met you,” she says, her eyes glittering so tenderly I can feel it.

“Liz would call me,” she says. “Not very often. To come to my house to spend the night. Her father was always passed out when she called. I guess the rage was over by then. She might have a bruise or a bloody lip, nothing too terrible because he was too drunk, and she was good at escaping him.”

I stroke the soft, smooth skin of her cheek with my thumb, needing to touch her. “I wonder why she went looking for him that night.”

“I don’t know, but she shocked me the way she spoke to his friends, like she knew them, like the place was familiar to her.”

I nod. “She’d probably been drinking.” I try and keep the self-disgust from my voice. “I didn’t realize she started drinking for a long time. I didn’t see her as much when I was at Suffield Academy. She did well in high school and her dad’s leg was worse; he couldn’t get around and cause as much harm. But what I didn’t realize is that she’d started drinking regularly. She hid that from me and only talked about cheerleading, being named captain, and being crowned queen of the prom, voted class president, and earning class valedictorian. She ran up a hell of an impressive resume in high school, and I was damn proud she was doing so well.”

Susie whistles. “I didn’t keep in touch with her during high school, so I didn’t know.”

“Chaffee, right?”

She nods and looks down. “I always felt guilty about turning my back on her, but she scared me that night, and Mom insisted that I needed to move on, as she put it, to find new friends.” She sighs deeply and turns to me with a sad smile. “You want to know something? I never found a friend as good as Liz since. To this day.”

I nod. “I get it.” I don’t spell out to her that I feel the same way about Liz, but the way Susie looks at me, I know she knows I understand.

“I worry about her drinking, but she doesn’t let it interfere with her life, with being a good friend. A better friend than me.”

“You’re a good friend. I see how you look out for her.”

She pauses. “There was one time she really needed my help. You remember the incident with the speeding ticket?”

Nodding, I have a bad feeling, like she’s going to tell me something I won’t like.

“I’ve kept quiet about it, but… I wasn’t the one driving that day. Liz was driving and she asked me to take the blame. So I did.”

“Fuck. Why would she…?” I furrow my brows for a second, and then the picture becomes clear. Liz had already gotten in trouble for drunk driving and couldn’t afford a speeding ticket or she’d lose her license.

For the first time I can remember—so the first time ever—I feel real anger towards Liz, nothing like the impatience or annoyance I’ve felt before.

Dammit.

Before I can say anything to Susie about how generous and crazy she was to take the fall, I hear a commotion in the hallway outside my door. Jumping up from the mattress, I go to the door and open it a crack. Eldy’s there.

“Liz is looking for you,” he says and pauses, looking like he has more to say. He clears his throat. “Some guy named Vinnie was looking for Susie.” That stops the dismissal I’m about to make.

“What’s that about? Where is he?”

“Down the hall.”

I nod. “Do me a favor and keep Liz busy for a few minutes.”

“Sure, but you owe me.”

Susie comes up behind me. “I should go⁠—”

I shut the door and turn to her. Taking her face in my hands, I kiss her, long and hard, giving her everything I have from deep down in my soul; all the things I can’t tell her, I put into this kiss.

“I’ll leave first,” I say, like we’re trying to hide an illicit affair.

“I’ll run across the hall to the bathroom,” she says.