Page 123 of The Cheerleader

He shakes his head. “A girl bet.”

“Don’t say it like that.” I laugh and nod in acknowledgment. “So how about it? Dance with me.” I reach out and touch his shoulder, then catch myself before my hand wanders to his clean-shaven face to touch his strong jaw. I want nothing more than to run my hand along it.

His lids lower and he grabs my hand, pulling me closer, but not too close. “You’re asking for more than a dance, princess. You’re asking for a whole lot of trouble.”

In spite of his words, he takes me onto the dance floor and pulls me in as Baby I’m a Want You starts playing. As if I’m emerging from the depths, I breathe in his scent. I never want to forget it or how the warmth and strength of him, being held in his arms, makes me feel. I can’t even describe it exactly. I just wish I could keep feeling this way forever.

My eyes are closed and my head rests against his shoulder as he whispers in my ear.

“This isn’t going to last much longer.”

His words disturb me, but before I have a chance to ask him what he means, I feel a tap on my shoulder and Liz is beside me, nudging me aside, asking if she can cut in as if it’s perfectly normal. She pulls Bryan from my grasp and takes him from me. I let her, willingly, and he goes along willingly, like we’re trapped under the spell of Liz’s will.

Except that wouldn’t be fair to Liz because she’s not trapping us; we’re doing it to ourselves. And I’m not entirely sure why.

Why can’t I tell her how I feel about Bryan? Is it because I’m not sure I know how I feel? Or because I’m not sure I can help him, fix his brokenness? I don’t even know why he’s broken, not really, or whether we really have anything.

I don’t want to ruin my friendship with Liz, but I don’t see any way around it.

I don’t like being dishonest. It’s not right. I can’t help how I feel, but I can help what I do.

So standing right here on the edge of the dance floor, watching them dance arm-in-arm, I give myself an ultimatum.

I need to either tell Liz how I feel about Bryan, or I need to stop seeing him, stop helping him, stop trying to make him laugh, to mend his soul, stop … my heart from beating.

Whenever Liz tries dragging me into her relationship with Bryan—maybe to keep them both afloat—I need to say no. Even when it feels like I’m breaking something inside me, breaking a promise I made to myself and him years ago.

“How about a dance?” A familiar voice startles me, disrupting my thoughts as I whip my head around to see Vinnie.

“I almost don’t recognize you without your rugby jersey.” I put a hand to my chest as if to calm my rapid heartbeat, to calm my soul.

He grins. “What do you think?” He stands straight, puffing out his chest to show off his suit.

“You look…nice.” He looks handsome, almost dashing, but I don’t want to give him the impression I’m interested.

Though, why shouldn’t I be interested? Maybe I need to find someone else interesting to distract me from Bryan.

He winks and gives me a devilish smirk. “I should warn you, Susie. There’s nothing nice about me. Not even the suit.”

I smile. He has that same kind of confidence and swagger that Bryan has. But I wonder what’s underneath it.

“Then let’s dance, bad boy,” I say.

He sweeps me onto the floor as the band takes a break and they switch on a record. The Doobie Brothers song “Old Black Water” comes on, and it feels like everyone swarms onto the dance floor in a mad rush.

Everyone except Bryan. I feel him staring at me before I see him. He’s staring at both of us, me and Vinnie, flicking his eyes between us. It takes a few hard beats of my heart for me to register that his expression isn’t menacing in the least.

He looks resigned.

A quick breath escapes me, and I bite my lip to hold in my heartbreaking disappointment and the helplessness that threatens to overwhelm me.

“What’s wrong?” Vinnie asks, coming closer.

“Nothing.” Everything.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Susie