Page 8 of The Cheerleader

I nod and glance at Ellen, admiring her choice. “What about Linda?”

Liz shrugs, and I glance in the direction of Linda, who sits at the opposite end of the table with the perfectly coiffed bob right out of the sixties and looking like she’s holding court.

Liz says, “She’s the one who would have definitely been captain, but her fiancé insisted she had to quit because he didn’t want strange men ogling her.”

I sit up, surprised. “Does that really happen? Ogling? I thought cheerleaders were supposed to be the all-American girls next door.”

“That’s the thing. We are to some. But to others, we’re easy, like floozies.”

“Floozies?” I laugh, but Liz is perfectly serious. She leans in closer. “The way I see it, it’s up to us to choose who we are, which I figure is somewhere in the middle, you know?”

“How about if we’re cheerful, supportive, and ambitious young women who like to have fun?” I say, deciding that’s who I am—for lack of anything more specific at the moment.

She snorts. “Sure. Be whoever you want, Susie Q.”

I wince at the old nickname. She used to tease me about it, making innocent fun of my dad’s name for me. When I’d complain, she’d say how I was lucky my dad had a cute name for me.

Grinning, she jolts me back to the here and now and throws an arm around my shoulder in a half-hug, like she’s making up for lost time. I lean in automatically, regardless of my complicated feelings.

Carol raises her wineglass. “Here’s to next year’s cheering squad. I have a feeling we’ll thrive under our new fearless leader.” Her smile appears genuine, and I like her. She’s sitting next to Judy, who nudges her. Judy seems annoyed, like something’s bothering her. I hope it’s nothing about Liz because I want to like her. But I’m withholding judgment on Judy.

I want to like all the girls. I need to overcome my natural reticence because I could use some girlfriends here next semester, without the security of my housemates from Smith. I don’t want to cling to Liz or depend on her too much.

A sense of disorientation knocks against me. I don’t know if I’m a serious student anymore or whether I’ll be an engineering or education major.

All I know for sure is that I’m a UConn cheerleader, and I need to fit in, to connect with these girls.

“Do any of you do volunteer work?” I ask the table at large, trying to be part of the conversation, to find common ground beyond cheerleading—which technically I know nothing about. Not yet.

Looking around, I see blank stares, albeit accompanied by friendly smiles.

I add, “I tutored other students at my previous college.”

“That’s fantastic,” Carol says. “Maybe you can tutor me—do you know French?” She laughs, and everyone else joins in.

“Seriously, who has time to volunteer for anything with classes and cheerleading?” Judy says. “You might have to give up on tutoring now that you’re a cheerleader and focus on what’s important.”

Her words confuse the heck out of me, but before I can respond, Liz squeezes my hand and answers for me.

“I don’t know, Judy. You’d be surprised what a girl can accomplish when she puts her mind to it. I volunteer at a pet shelter a couple of times a month to make up for missing my kitty, Rah-Rah.”

“Let’s face it, Liz. You’re different,” Carol says on a wistful note. “You have more energy than a tornado.”

Linda nods. “That’s true.”

The others nod, and the talk turns to Linda’s engagement and upcoming wedding.

“Enough about me,” Linda finally says after the waiter finishes serving our steaks. I’m staring at the outsized piece of meat and the giant baked potato when she changes the topic.

“How about you, Liz? Are you seeing anyone?” She smiles hopefully, and all eyes turn to Liz. It seems strange to me that she’d single out Liz, but I know nothing about their history and feel like I’m at a disadvantage as one of only three new girls on the squad.

“Not at the moment, but you remember the guy I was dating last year, Bryan Granger?”

“Mm hmm. How could a girl forget that cutie pie,” Linda says. “I thought you two broke up a while back.”

“We did, but we’re talking again, and I’m pretty sure we’re going to end up back together before too long.”

Judy speaks up. “Bryan Granger? The football player?”