Page 118 of Home Is Where You Are

“Everything looks amazing, and the baby isn’t in distress. I read her chart and will brief the on call doctor of Ainsleigh’s progress. I’m sorry for the loss of your little girl. The baby’s heart rate, as well as the mother’s, is great. We should be meeting your little boy or girl in no time,” he said before he left the room.

I finally felt like I could breathe a little better hearing her say that.

“How are you feeling after what she just said?” I asked Ainsleigh while I rubbed my thumb across her knuckles.

“I hate that I can’t get drugs. I don’t think I can do this without them,” she admitted.

“Look at me, butterfly.”

I waited until she turned her head toward me. Tears filled her eyes to the brim, but she hadn’t let them fall.

“You’re doing amazing. You’re one of the strongest women I know. You don’t need the drugs to get through this. You’re going to do just fine without them. I’m right here. Scream at me, grip my hand; hit me if it helps. We’re in this together, and I’m going to be right by your side the entire time.”

“You’re too good to be true. I love you.”

“And I love you.”

For the next two hours, I watched in amazement as she breathed through every contraction and never broke down. I could tell the labor was wearing on her, but she pushed through it. She didn’t complain or even scream at me again. With each and every contraction she gripped my hand, and I whispered words of encouragement and everything I could imagine us teaching our little one. Those words seemed to get her through every one.

“I think I need to push,” she said, and at that moment I went into a panic. The doctor wasn’t here. Frantically, I pushed the call button on the side of her bed as I held her hand and told her to stay calm. If only I could take my own advice.

“This is Nurse Becca. Is everything okay?”

“She’s feeling like she has to push,” I screamed into the arm of the bed.

A couple of minutes later, the room filled with two nurses and the doctor, who’d exchanged his lab coat for blue covers for his clothing and shoes.

“Who’s ready to have a baby?”

We both nodded in agreement as the bed was broken down, and he did a final check on her.

“I can see the baby’s head. On the next contraction, I want you to push until we count to ten. We’re going to try to get three of those in each time.”

The next contraction hit a minute or so later, and the nurse held one of Ainsleigh’s legs back while I held the other, and we all counted to ten as she pushed with all her might.

Six pushes later at a little after six in the morning our baby was born.

We both waited with bated breath until the doctor placed the baby on Ainsleigh’s stomach.

“It’s a girl,” he announced as the nurses cleaned out her mouth.

A few seconds later, the most precious sound filled the room.

Her first cry.

Ainsleigh and I both cried tears of joy as we watched in amazement as she moved her little arms and legs around.

“You did so good, Ainsleigh. She’s gorgeous.”

She looked just like her momma. A headful of hair and big round eyes. She blinked several times as she took in the world around her.

We had a little girl. A beautiful, precious little girl. Who hadn’t stopped wailing since the moment she was born. I’d take every cry she let out as long as she was here with us.

The nurse took our daughter and weighed her then cleaned her up while the doctor finished taking care of Ainsleigh. I couldn’t take my eyes off the baby we’d created.

The doctor talked to Ainsleigh, but I didn’t really hear what he had said. I could only hear our daughter’s beautiful cries.

“Six pounds, nine ounces. Nineteen inches long. She’s perfect,” the nurse said as she wrapped her up and placed her in my arms. Feeling her there for the first time brought more tears to my eyes.