Page 32 of Home Is Where You Are

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.

I felt him approach before I saw him. The hairs on my arms rose just as the smell of Gentry’s cologne hit me. Every time I smelled it, I felt like I was at home. It was hard to explain, but that smell alone brought me peace even if it was coming from the man I needed to steer clear of.

A crinkled up twenty-dollar bill in between Gentry’s fingers moved in my line of sight, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Looks like you won.”

“Don’t be a sore loser like my brothers. Me and the kids won fair and square,” I taunted without bringing my gaze to meet his. I didn’t want to risk a chance of him seeing the emotion hidden in my eyes and having to explain. If he asked, that was.

“I’m not. Just stating a fact. Looks like all the kids are with their parents now, so our job here is done.”

“Yeah. I need to see if Aspen and Dylan are on time to arrive this afternoon,” I said as I pulled my phone from my pocket and checked to see if they’d updated me recently. I needed to text my brothers to see if there were any parties tonight I could take Aspen and Dylan to, if they were up for it after traveling.

Just as I was about to pull up a text thread to send the message, I felt a hand push something in my pocket. I jerked around to see a sly grin on Gentry’s face as he held his hands up in the air.

“I was just putting the twenty in your pocket,” he said, that smirk still marring his features.

“Well, next time, just hand it to me.” I wouldn’t dare admit how my insides clenched at the feel of his hands on me. Nope. Not ever would he know he still affected me that way.

“Yes, ma’am. I’m going to radio your father to see what else he has on my agenda for the day since we finished early. I’d suggest you do the same. See ya around, butterfly.”

That nickname was going to be the bane of my existence. I hated the memories that one measly word evoked. I hated that he could still get a rise out of me after all these years. But most of all, I hated that I couldn’t wait until the next time the word butterfly left his lips.

Instead of radioing my father, I left the clubhouse and headed toward his office. I needed to speak with him about making sure I didn’t have to work this closely with Gentry during the rest of my stay here. I couldn’t be this close with him daily and keep my heart intact.

thirteen

GENTRY

Iradioed Sawyer after I watched Ainsleigh leave the clubhouse. I tried to remain cool and unaffected in her presence, but my body was reeling from being so close to her just now.

I absentmindedly put that twenty in her back pocket not thinking. I shouldn’t have touched her without her permission, but being this close to her, I didn’t think. I reacted on instinct out of the years we’d spent together, when I should’ve been focusing on the years we were apart. I wouldn’t make that mistake again after seeing the anguish on her face at me merely touching her. I thought maybe after the moment we’d shared last night, we could be cordial, but that would remain up to her. I knew for my sanity that was the better option; now I just needed to convince my heart that she wasn’t the right option.

Sawyer didn’t have much for me to do, so I went to the office to return the note cards and scavenger hunt items to Loretta so we could reuse them.

I opened the door to the office, and Loretta greeted me with her usual smile.

“You couldn’t stay away from her, could you?” she joked as she returned to the computer screen.

“I don’t know what you mean.” And I didn’t.

“Ainsleigh’s in the office talking with Sawyer. I figured you knew that and followed her here,” she replied as I handed her the scavenger hunt items.

“I didn’t follow her here. We parted ways after the kids were gathered at the table for lunch and their parents had all returned. I had no idea where she went since she left before me.”

“Uh huh. You both flock together like a moth to a flame. You always have, and you always will,” she said as she finished typing on the keyboard and turned to face me.

“Not you too. There’s nothing between Ainsleigh and me. Not anymore. We’ve both changed.”

I hated the thought of her leaving again. Not for my sake. But for her parents and brothers. They’d all missed her a great deal for the past four years she’d been gone.

“You could always give her a reason to stay,” Loretta said with a smile.

“Nice try, but I wasn’t a good enough reason for her to stay the last time. She won’t stay for someone she doesn’t know anymore this time.” Admitting that out loud fucking hurt, but it was the truth. And I wasn’t going to give myself false hope of her returning home for good. Everyone I loved left. She was no different.

“Things could be different this time if you both got rid of the stubbornness and had a conversation,” she said with a huff and went back to her tasks at hand, officially dismissing me it seemed.

I didn’t respond as I walked toward Sawyer’s office. I didn’t have the words to defend myself that wouldn’t come across as rude or defensive, so it was best I stayed quiet and not take my frustrations out on Loretta—a woman who’d been nothing but kind to me since I’d started working here.