Page 53 of Home Is Where You Are

We sat in silence for a beat before Aspen suddenly turned her head toward me. I looked over at her and waited for her to say whatever was on her mind.

“And why didn’t you tell me how hot your brothers were? Sheesh. Way to keep secrets.” She laughed as she fanned herself with her hand, while looking over where all the guys stood trying to push each other in the pool.

“Um, they’re my brothers. That’s just gross. Plus, you have no idea what those idiots put me through when I was younger,” I told her as I reached over and grabbed my cup of sweet tea, taking a refreshing sip.

“I’d have loved to have this growing up. I didn’t have any siblings, and it sucked. The four of you clearly love each other, even if they drive you crazy.”

She had a point. I did love them, even if I wanted to strangle them half the time. I’d die for them, and I knew they felt the same about me.

“Can you do me a favor? Can you not bring up anything about Kyle? Everyone knows we broke up, but they all think it’s because I moved back home. I don’t want them to know what he did.”

I knew she’d keep this secret; I just didn’t want it to slip.

“Absolutely. Plus, saying his name gives me hives.”

I laughed at her antics. She'd never cared for Kyle, and neither did Dylan. But he kept my mind off home and the man I’d left behind. It was a crappy reason to be with someone, but it was the truth.

“How long are you going to keep Dylan waiting before you tell him how you feel?”

I’d wanted them together for our whole time at college, but Dylan was too scared to tell her how he felt, and I had to respect his wishes.

“I’m scared. What if everything changes, and we don’t work out? I don’t want to lose him in my life. That’s what I’m most scared of,” she admitted.

I knew all too well what that felt like. I was so scared when Gentry and I became official. I didn’t want to lose our friendship.

We had it all.

Until we didn’t.

I shook those thoughts away and focused on my friend. She needed me most right now.

“But you could also miss out on that one great love you always talk about wanting every time you finish reading a romance novel. You’ll never know if that’s Dylan if you don’t give him a shot. I think y’all are perfect for each other. But it’s your choice.”

I hoped she didn’t let fear stop her from letting Dylan love her. Aspen deserved to be loved by a man as kind and compassionate as Dylan.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow.” She stood and gave me a wink.

“Last one in is a rotten egg,” she screamed as she took off for the pool.

Shaking my head, I got up and ran after her, both of us cannonballing into the pool at the same time, and splashing the guys.

A couple of hours passed by, and I couldn’t remember a time when I’d laughed this hard in my life. The boys finally stopped picking on me and tossing me in the water, only to turn their antics on Aspen after our cannonball stunt. It was priceless to see her trying to get away from them only to be tossed back in.

Aspen and I were laying on the lounge chairs while the guys were over by the outdoor kitchen cooking some burgers and hot dogs. As I sat there enjoying the time with my siblings, I looked over to find my parents standing on the back porch. My mother leaned against the railing, my father stood proudly behind her, his head rested on my mom’s shoulder as they watched Leo, Holden, Brooks, and Gentry cook while Dylan observed. I loved seeing the love my mom and dad shared. They were always affectionate in front of us kids, and when I was a teenager I always pretended it grossed me out, but in reality, it made me always want a love like they shared. As busy as the ranch was, my dad always made sure he was home for dinner every night, and they always had their “date nights” even if it was enjoying a night out by the fire or watching a sappy movie my mom made him watch dozens of times. I never even saw them fight now that I thought about it. When I used to picture my future, I always saw a love like they shared. A husband who adored me and a house full of kids like I had growing up. The thought of children made my heart hurt, so I shook my head and cleared my thoughts, focusing on the scene before me.

Leo shook a water bottle in the direction of Dylan as he tried and almost failed to soak him with the contents. He was always the jokester of the family. The one you thought didn’t have a serious bone in his body, but I knew different. When his ex, the name we weren’t allowed to mention around him, left, he went from that carefree boy, to this hardened man. Before I'd left, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen him smile. Seeing him back to his happy-go-lucky self, made me happy.

Holden stood next to Brooks while Brooks flipped the burgers, and they both started laughing at God only knew what.

Seeing them so carefree made my heart happy, but also a little sad. It was my choice to leave, but I’d missed so much of their lives. Cutting them all out of my life hurt them, but I just couldn’t take the pain in their voices when we’d speak. I couldn’t deal with the pity every time they asked how I was doing. I did what I had to do to keep the pain at bay.

“Why do you look so serious?” Aspen asked from beside me, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“I’m just taking it all in. I missed them all so much, and I’m happy to see them so happy,” I replied, trying not to tear up at my confession.

“Alright, Miss Sappy. Let’s go check on the boys and grab the side dishes from inside before you turn into a blubbering mess,” she said as she stood, holding her hand out to help me up.

I took her hand and wrapped my arm around her shoulder as we walked across the back deck.