Page 18 of Together Is Where We Belong

“Now you see why I didn’t question it,” I said in a snarky, protective tone. The moment I saw Luke, I knew, and I had this immediate sense that I wanted to protect him. Maybe that was what fatherhood entailed. I wouldn’t know. I’d only known I was a father for about a half hour. I knew nothing about being a father, but the only thing I was sure of was that I would be there for my son. He’d know he was loved and wanted, even if I wasn’t there from the beginning.

“Yeah, Leo. I see that now,” Holden said, the apology in his tone as he tossed the phone back at me.

“What’re you going to do?” Brooks asked.

Without thinking or attempting to contemplate what he meant, I bit back, “Be there for my son.”

“I wasn’t questioning that. I know you, Leo. You wouldn’t have a child and not care for it. I meant, where do you go from here?” Brooks reiterated.

I should’ve known that, and if I was thinking clearly at the time, I would’ve been able to distinguish what he meant. But right now, I felt raw and open, feelings I’d buried deep and only revealed when I was alone to myself. Everyone thought I was this playboy who took nothing serious. And I let them because it was easier than revealing the truth.

“I’m having dinner with them one day this week. I need to look at the schedule and see when I have an early afternoon.”

“She kept him from you. Why did she return now and not eight years ago when she found out she was pregnant?” Brooks asked. Brooks Courtright was the oldest of my siblings and forever known as the serious Courtright. He was the most logical thinking one of us, and his questions were valid, questions I’d considered as well.

“She said she tried to contact me, which she did, but I never returned her calls, emails, or wrote her back. As to why she’s back now, I’m not sure. I didn’t ask. I only asked if she planned on staying.”

I hope she meant what she said. She’s parented Luke by herself all these years, and now that I knew about him, I wouldn’t let her leave without a fight.

“And what did she say?” Holden asked.

“She said she wasn’t planning on leaving.”

Now that I thought about it, her response didn’t promise she’d stay, just that as of right now she was. I would need to ask her again, because I wanted to get to know Luke and be in his life going forward, however much she’d let me. I wasn’t going to be an every other weekend father. I was going to be hands on and in his life as much as she’d allow.

“Well, that’s something at least,” Brooks said as he took a breath then smiled. Something funny must’ve crossed his mind, and I asked him what it was.

“Now you have to tell Mom and Dad,” he responded with an even bigger grin. I groaned.

My parents would be supportive of me, but while my dad, Sawyer, would be silent and let me figure things out on my own, my mom, Lillian, was a different story. She was more inquisitive than me, which was where I got it from as a child.

“How do you feel about findin’ out you have a child?” Holden asked. The deep question coming from him kind of shocked me. He usually tried to keep things light, but his voice was full of concern for me.

“I’m not sure yet. I’m shocked. I’m angry. I’m sad. I feel so many emotions at once that I don’t know which one to focus on so I can process the news. All I’m certain of is from the moment I saw him, I felt this intense urge to protect him. I can’t explain it,” I admitted, some of the pressure in my chest lifted as I said the words.

“Maybe you should talk to Gentry and Ainsleigh since they have Livvy. I know she’s a newborn, but they’d understand how you feel about Luke,” Brooks suggested, and as I let the idea mull around in my head, I knew he was right.

Part of me wanted to keep Luke to myself for a little while, but I didn’t have that advantage. The moment someone who had lived here long enough to know me as a child saw him out in town, word would spread like wildfire. I’d have to have those conversations quicker than I’d like.

“How’d you react when she told you?” Brooks asked.

“I wanted to scream and yell, but I couldn’t even speak, I was so shocked. She had to help me over to the rockin’ chairs on her porch before I fell over from the shock of it all. Thankfully, I held in my emotions and had a quiet conversation with her instead of screamin’ at her,” I told them.

“That’s good. You’re the most levelheaded of us all even though you have a wild side no one can seem to tame,” Holden joked to lighten the mood for which I was thankful.

“I don’t know what to do with all these emotions coursing through me. I don’t know whether to hit something or yell out my frustration,” I told them. I might be levelheaded and think before I react in tough situations, but I didn’t handle emotions very well. Not since she'd left me.

“You feel them. Process them the best way you can. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You’ll figure everythin’ out,” Brooks replied, and I knew he was right. I just didn’t know how to be patient. I liked resolving things quickly, but this situation wouldn’t resolve itself overnight. It’d take quite a while to get into a grove. I just had so many questions I didn’t have answers for, and getting them meant I’d have to talk to the one person I never thought I’d speak to again.

“I’m goin’ to hit the hay. I can’t think straight, and I need a good night’s sleep before I tell Mom and Dad,” I told them as I stood and stretched.

“Tomorrow’s a new day. You’ll figure it out. Have faith,” Brooks said, and I nodded and headed off to my room.

Sleep wouldn’t come easy tonight knowing the person who held all the answers slept right next door to me.

seven

Carolina