Page 2 of Together Is Where We Belong

Taking a deep breath, then another, I prepared myself for what I was about to do.

“You’re scaring me, Carolina,” Leo whispered, and tightened the hold on my hips.

The use of my full name caused me to shiver. I hated it when he called me Carolina, but I couldn’t focus on that too much. I wouldn’t be his cara anymore after today. We’d go back to formalities if we ever saw each other again. And I needed to remain focused on my reasoning or else I’d break down and cave.

I kept my head down as I pulled back, needing just one more second before I looked into his eyes and faced him.

I looked up into the bright blue eyes that I held so dear, into the eyes of the man I loved. So much concern etched on his face. I knew I needed to spit it out, but I took one more moment to memorize the look he gave me. Behind the concern, there was nothing but love staring back at me.

Here goes nothing, I thought to myself.

I opened and closed my mouth several times, willing myself to just spit out what I needed him to hear, but I couldn’t. Something held me back. I knew it was my second thoughts and third thoughts that I’d had recently if I could go through with this, but I knew that I truly wouldn’t be happy unless I explored the world the way I wanted to. I’d already purchased my one-way ticket to Charleston, South Carolina.

Just rip the band aid off already, Carolina, I berated myself.

“We need to talk, Leo,” I whispered after I pulled back from him, my gaze focused on the ground, because I couldn’t keep looking into his eyes.

“You’re scaring me, cara. Why don’t we go over to the truck so we can sit down and talk?” he suggested as he reached for my hand. The second his fingertips touched my skin, shivers raced up my spine, and I took a step back.

I couldn’t have him touch me for this part. I’d break down, and I had to remain strong.

I braced myself and finally looked up into the piercing blue depths of his eyes. He frantically searched my face as he tried to decipher my expression. I tried as hard as I could to force my expression to remain neutral even though on the inside I was breaking down.

“I’m leaving, Leo,” I finally said, as I mustered up the courage to finally break the news.

“Yeah, I know. You’re leaving tomorrow to go to the University of Texas. This isn’t news, cara. We’ve got it all planned. I’ll visit on the weekends, and you’ll come home on your breaks,” he exclaimed as he reached for my hand a second time. This time I let him. I didn’t have the strength to pull away again.

His thumb ran over the top of my hand as he attempted to soothe me the way he always did. Only this time, his touch almost broke me. I looked at where his thumb continued to rub my hand and tried to memorize the way his touch felt against my skin. How he’d done the same thing numerous times, and it always managed to make me feel the slightest bit better.

Looking up at him, I knew I’d wasted enough time lingering.

The sun was setting in the background. On any other normal day, we’d lie down in the bed of his truck and just exist, taking in its beauty. Today it just marked one more thing that would break my heart when I saw it. I knew every time I’d see the sunset from here on out it’d remind me of the way I broke his heart.

“I’m not going to the University of Texas, Leo,” I admitted.

“What do you mean? That’s all we talked about this summer.”

“I never agreed that I was going there because I didn’t want to officially lie to you.”

“Lie to me? What do you mean you didn’t want to lie to me? Lie to me about what?” he asked, his voice filled with worry.

I let out an emotional sigh and shook my head. Explaining this to him was harder than I’d thought it’d be.

“Think back, Leo. Did I ever say I was going?”

His eyes frantically searched mine. His mouth opened and closed before he finally shook his head.

“No, I just went along with what we’d always planned because telling you the truth was just too hard.”

I looked away from him to gain my composure because I could feel the tears well up in my eyes, and I couldn’t cry in front of him this time. I’d save that for the moment I walked away from him for good.

Before I let my thoughts linger too long, I looked back in his tear-filled eyes and continued my explanation.

“I can’t stay here, Leo. I’ve never wanted to stay here. I’ve always told you I wanted to see the world. I bought a ticket, and I’m leaving tonight,” I confessed.

There, I’d said it. The truth was finally out in the open. Finally confessing my truth didn’t make me feel any better. I felt downright horrible. I was about to lose my best friend, and there was no coming back from it.

“Where are you going, cara? We can still make this work. Long distance doesn’t scare me. I’ve told you that.” His pleading eyes almost did me in, but I had to do this for me.