Page 43 of Together Is Where We Belong

Luke was happy to have more time with them and bound off to the den without a fuss, and my dad followed behind him, chasing him down the hall. The laughter of the two of them echoed down the hall, bringing a smile to my face.

“He’s full of energy, that one,” my mom said as we cleared the table. She stored the leftovers while I rinsed the dishes. Once they were loaded into the dishwasher, she leaned against the counter with a towel in her hand and stared at me.

“What?” I asked as I looked down at my hands. She could always tell when something was wrong with me. I should’ve known today would be no different.

“What do you want to talk to me about?” my mom asked.

“How’d you know?” I asked, genuinely curious as to how she managed to tell.

“A mother always knows. You’ll see that when Luke gets older,” she said, not elaborating on her secret.

“Can we make a cup of tea and talk?”

“Absolutely,” she said, not batting an eye.

She put the kettle on to boil and got down two teacups.

“What kind of tea would you like?”

“Chamomile if you have it. If not, anything is fine,” I responded. The type of tea didn’t matter. The advice from my mother was all that mattered at that moment.

“Chamomile coming right up,” she said as she put a tea bag in each cup and grabbed the honey.

The kettle whistled moments later, causing me to jump out of my swirling thoughts. I tried to figure out a way to ask my mother about her thoughts on my situation without alluding to the fact that something else had happened.

Once the water was poured into the cups, she added a squirt of honey to each and picked up both cups. We walked back over to the table and sat down. I didn’t know how to begin this conversation, so I sat there stirring the water around and around and steeping the tea bag.

“You gonna tell me what’s bothering you some time this year?” my mom asked. Looking up at her, she smirked as she waited for me to speak.

“I’m scared,” was all I managed to choke out.

“Of what, sweetheart?” Her smirk immediately disappeared, and a look of concern crossed her face. She placed her hand over mine to give me comfort to continue.

“I don’t want this to come out wrong. I’m so happy Luke has Leo in his life, but I’m scared. What if one day Leo tries to take him from me? Or, what if Leo finds out why I moved back, and decides that Luke is in danger and he wants to take him from me?” I said in a hushed tone, so Luke didn’t have the chance to overhear. I’d never do anything to hinder his relationship with his dad. And if he heard I was scared, he’d likely react differently around Leo because he was protective of me and my feelings.

“What’s bringin’ this on? Has Leo said somethin’ to make you think that?”

I bit my lip as I thought about how to respond.

“No, Mom. He hasn’t said anything. It’s just where my brain goes,” I explained, unsure of how to express properly why I’d even think that way when Leo had given me no indication.

“But why? Did somethin’ else happen?”

“No, not really. I guess it’s just that I’ve had Luke to myself all these years, and I never had to worry about splitting my time with him. Now everything is changing, and I have to consider someone else in the equation. It’s hard to navigate,” I rambled out, speaking way too fast.

“I can’t say I get it, because I’ve never been in that situation, but it’s only been a couple of days. I know you don’t like change and you just had a huge one when you moved back here. Now you’re having to learn how to coparent. Give yourself some grace. You handled the situation you’re in respectfully and in the best interest of Luke. Don’t worry about something that hasn’t happened yet. It will likely never happen. I don’t see Leo as the malicious type to try and take Luke. If you’re that worried about it, talk to him. See where his head’s at and go from there,” my mom said.

I muddled her advice through my head as I processed it, and of course, she was right. She usually was when I sat down and calmed my racing mind.

“You’re right. As per usual,” I said as I took a sip of the tea.

“How’s it been bein’ around him again?” she asked, and I groaned.

How’d I know she’d eventually go there?

“It’s awkward. I keep waiting for him to get mad or snap at the situation, but he doesn’t. He keeps things all about Luke and seems genuine in wanting to get to know him and be in his life. He asked me if I planned on leaving,” I told her.

“And what did you say to that?”