Page 64 of Together Is Where We Belong

I slid my finger under the flap of the envelope and carefully opened it. I pulled out the folded piece of notebook paper and sat the empty envelope in my lap.

With shaky fingers, I unfolded the page, a picture fell to my lap.

I looked down and picked it up.

Staring back at me was an ultrasound photo. I ran my fingers across the image. The words thumb sucking with an arrow pointed to the image. I squinted my eyes and could make out the side profile of our little Luke sucking his thumb. Tears filled my eyes and fell as I continued to stare down at the black and white photo.

My hands shook harder as I held the letter in one hand and the picture of Luke in the other. With a deep breath, I began reading.

Leo,

I’m not sure if you got my other letter. You haven’t called me yet. This wasn’t the way I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you over the phone, but my calls aren’t going through. A few months ago, I kept getting sick and took a pregnancy test. As you can see by the ultrasound photo included in this letter, it was positive. I found out at my last doctor’s visit that we’re having a little boy. I haven’t decided what I’ll name him yet. I think I’m waiting for you to respond so we can figure out his name together.

I want you to know that I’m okay. I settled in a beautiful town on the East Coast. I decided to go back to school instead of traveling because I need to make a life for me and this little one.

Please call me or respond to my letters. I want you to somehow be a part of his life. I would never keep him from you. I just can’t come back to Haven Valley. I know that it’ll be hard to figure out a way for you to see him, but we’ll figure it out.

I’m sorry for everything, Leo. You deserved so much better than me. Maybe someday you can forgive me and you’ll contact me then.

Until then, I hope you’re doing well.

Carolina

Water stains smudged the ink, and I realized it was from the tears that flowed freely down my face.

Reading the words she wrote broke something inside me.

My heart fractured at picturing her scared and alone and trying to figure out how she’d raise a baby on her own.

A piece of my soul felt like it died knowing that she’d done all that she had to tell me about Luke–aside from coming back and telling me in person–only my stubbornness had prevented it all.

Carefully, I placed the ultrasound photo in the center of the page and folded it before I slid it back into the envelope.

I leaned over and picked up my beer and finished it. Not feeling an ounce better once the bottle was empty.

With the backs of my hands, I wiped the tears from my face.

A bloodcurdling scream from next door had me standing in a flash, instantly on alert. The envelopes in my lap long forgotten, I jumped over the railing of the porch. My ankles screamed in pain as my feet hit the ground, but I continued running until I was over at her house. I took the porch stairs two at a time and raced to the front door.

Jerking open the screen door, I went to knock but the front door opened. Luke’s frightened body ran right into me. I put my hands on his back to steady him, so he didn’t fall over.

“Daddy, Mommy’s screaming and she won’t wake up,” Luke frantically cried. Picking him up, I rubbed my hand across his back to soothe him as I walked into the house.

I sat him on the couch, but his little arms clung to my neck, too afraid to let go.

“It’s okay, little man. I’m here,” I said as Carolina let out another gut-wrenching sob. Luke clung to me more as his tears soaked my shirt.

“I need to go check on Mommy, okay. I’ll be right back. She’s just having a bad dream,” I assured him as I took his hands from around my neck and settled him onto the couch. He laid down and curled in a ball; his hands covered his ears. I took a blanket off the back of the couch and covered him with it before I went down the hall to find Carolina.

Cautiously, I entered her bedroom to find her thrashing about on her bed. Her hands fisted the blanket, her body coiled tight as her head tossed back and forth.

“Get away from me,” she yelled out.

I walked across her room and over to the bed, careful not to scare her.

“Carolina, wake up,” I said softly as I gently shook her shoulder.

Only she didn’t rouse. She thrashed harder and let out another scream.