Page 92 of Together Is Where We Belong

He crawled in my lap tonight and fell asleep against my chest. Carolina sat two cushions away from me, her body coiled tight. With each day that passed with her stalker on the loose, she’d grown more frustrated and afraid. I couldn’t blame her.

I patted the cushion beside me to break her out of her thoughts.

She turned her head at the sound, her eyes filled with worry as she looked over at me.

“What?” she whispered, her voice sounding defeated.

“Come here,” I told her as I held my arm open.

Reluctantly, she slid over and laid her head on my chest with a sigh.

I wrapped my arm around her in an attempt to comfort her. I pushed the button on the side of the couch to lift the recliner so we’d be more comfortable, and pulled the plush blanket from the back of the couch, covering the three of us.

Carolina settled into me and ran her fingers over my shirt.

“I’d dreamed of nights like this when I was alone,” she admitted, and I ran my fingers up and down her arm, hoping she’d continue. Part of me loved knowing that she’d thought about me often in the years we were apart.

“What do you mean?” I asked when she didn’t elaborate.

“Me, you, and Luke cuddled on the couch together watching a movie. Us all enjoying a board game. The simple ways we could spend quality time together,” she explained as she paused the movements of her hand before she continued.

Now that I knew about Luke, I often thought about them too.

“What made you think about that?” I asked.

“He looked so much like you. I couldn’t forget you even if I tried. I had a miniature version of you. When he got old enough to ask about you, we spent so many nights looking at photos of us. We pulled up photos of the ranch so he could see. He was obsessed with knowing you. It was hard not to envision life without you in it,” she replied. A part of me wanted her to say it was because she missed me, but I had to remind myself that she’d thought about the three of us and that was good enough for me.

“Why’d you keep the rings?” I asked. I needed to hear her say it again.

She sighed before she responded.

“I needed the reminder of what I’d lost. The reminder of what we had. Eventually, those rings became what I clung to when the nights were hard and I missed you so much. Anytime I was stressed or needed to feel close to you, I clung to them like a lifeline I couldn’t live without. I needed to have the one thing you’d given me aside from Luke that reminded me of the promise,” she said and stopped. Her tears wet my shirt, and I stopped rubbing her arm. I was seconds away from lifting her head up so I could look down at her and beg her to finish.

“I needed to be reminded of the promise that you loved me once,” she finished as more tears soaked my shirt.

I still loved her. I never stopped. But I didn’t tell her that. I held her tight as the emotions coursed through her. Hoping that she could feel my love without the words being spoken. I wasn’t ready to tell her yet. I needed to make sure she was staying before I ever put myself out there like that.

I rested my head on the back of the couch and held her tight. She closed her eyes and I felt her move to wipe the tears from her eyes.

“What else did you see?” I asked once she’d calmed.

I needed to hear she thought about me just as much as my thoughts were plagued with her.

“I saw you teaching Luke how to play baseball. I saw you cheering from the sideline at games and carrying him on your shoulders. I saw you teach him your love of horses and how to ride,” she admitted.

I could see it all.

I wanted it all.

I’d eventually have it all.

We fell asleep on the couch. The three of us. The family I always wanted and longed for finally in my arms.

twenty-four

Carolina

After last night, I had the sudden need to grab the baby books from my house. I wanted to surprise Leo. Plus, it would give me a chance to grab Luke’s extra EpiPen. I still had one at Leo’s parents’ house, but I liked to have a spare in case he needed a second dose.