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“Back by sixteen,” she says.

“It will be,” he replies, holstering it.

She leans against the glass.

“I’ve still got plenty of food,” she whispers. “If you ever wanted to start trading again.”

“Get yourself clean, Kira,” is all Cosmer says. “It would do us all a favour.”

He turns his back on her. Grabbing my hand briefly, he marches us away, his body coiled up like a spring.

Back outside Deck 8, he lets loose.

“Insulting me like that, in front of you. She’s lucky I didn’t mark her down for the brig for Disrespect. Or take away her food – since she’s apparently got so much of it.”

“You don’t mean that,” I say, calm. “She’s just an old woman. She didn’t look all there.”

“She’s not. She’s a huffer. That’s what they start to look like, if they’ve been on osimidite for too long. That’s what I started to look like. Before Riss stepped in.”

He’s hunched over, like he’s been winded. I watch him take deep breaths.

I step in front of him.

“That’s in the past now, Cosmer. You got yourself clean,” I remind him.

“Did I?” he says, chest moving. “I went down there last night, Ara.”

“I know,” I say, muted.

“I’m an idiot. Six months sober. For what? Just to ruin it, in ten minutes!” He sort of flails his arms.

“You’re being too hard on yourself. It was one moment of weakness.” I lower my voice. “I know how strong you are.”

He sidles towards the staircase. Thumps down on a step.

“I don’t know what came over me,” he says, quietly. “When you were dancing…”

I go over to him. Sit right beside him, our bodies touching.

“It made you jealous,” I say, repeating what I said last night.

“I think it was more than that, Ara,” he says. “I’d been feeling it since I first saw you outside my ship – and you were holding his hand.”

We have to stop, because two soldiers are climbing the staircase below. Instinctively, we separate ourselves until they pass on either side of us. Luckily, they don’t seem too suspicious.

Alone again, Cosmer bends over, head in his hands. I can’t see his face. I wish I could.

I gravitate to him again. Stroke his back.

“Tell me.”

“It crushed me, Ara,” he almost whispers. “I came up here to give my mother a better life – and you and your family a better life. I didn’t expect to be gone so long. I did think you might have found someone else by now. But to see you with that person, who you just looked so perfect for…”

“Just because he’s Rhavnan⁠—”

“It’s not just that. There’s something about the two of you. I knew it even before you told me about this thing you have with him. Other people know it. Dezeeves called it young love. And the officers loved it⁠—”

“I love you Cosmer,” I say, talking over him. “I loved you at sixteen. I love you now. The things you’ve done for me. Gone through for me…”