Page 21 of Carousel

Drake interrupts him. “There would be no other logical reason you would be here, away from your ship. And you would think me a good candidate for it, knowing I am⁠—”

“I know exactly what, and who, you are, Drake.”

Dezeeves no longer looks crazy.

He looks perfectly, compellingly, sane.

It’s frightening.

Under my breath, I ask Drake, “How does he know your name?”

Drake says nothing.

Leisurely, Dezeeves turns to me.

“And you,” he says, as though only now remembering I’m also here. His next words make my mind whirl even more. “What did you have for breakfast this morning?”

“Breakfast?” I can hardly see straight. I’m too mentally exhausted to do anything other than go along with the madness. “Bread and jam.”

“If a bell rang in an empty village, and there was no one around to hear it, would it still be time for Temple?”

“What? No. I don’t think so.”

“If you were the happiest man alive, could you ever be more happy? Or would you only become unhappier, one laugh at a time?”

“Of course you could become even happier.”

“But you would already be the happiest.”

“Yes, but… This is ridiculous⁠—”

“Let’s talk about good men. If a man is good, but his intentions are bad, is he a good man, or a bad man?”

“A bad man.’’

“If your intention is good, but your choices are bad, are you a good man, or a bad man?”

“A bad man. Again.”

“So, what would make a good man?”

“Just being a good man. Regardless of what your intentions are.”

“You’re saying choice is more powerful than intention?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. Just stop.”

“Very well.” Slowly, he starts clapping.

I can’t hide the complete bewilderment from my face.

He addresses Drake. “She did well, didn’t she?”

Drake is watching me with interest.

“What?” I ask.

Dezeeves’ smile grows. “I asked you about your breakfast in Seperan. About bells in Lartosi. I thought I might catch you out with happy men in Lorallahan, but of course you rose to the challenge. We then chatted about good men, all in a distinct dialect of Crallian I’ve only heard used in some of the southernmost swamps. And to finish strong, I hit you with a question about bad men in the language of Veer, because surely I’d best you there – the island being so remote and the people so, well, chilly. But you surprised me there too. We could no longer continue the test, as that exhausts the languages I know – other than Rhavnan, which I saw no reason to test you in.” He takes a breath, seemingly for the first time during this speech. “And, as surprising me happens so very rarely these days – I thank you.”