Page 36 of Carousel

“How are we going to survive this?”

“By trying not to die.”

“Thank you,” I say. “I would never have thought of that.”

He snorts.

But I suppress my own smile.

How can I tell him what I need to get off my chest?

“The both of you up there,” I start. “It put us all in danger.”

To his credit, he does give me an apologetic look.

“I regret my actions. But every soldier knows not to call another a coward. It is the highest insult that could be delivered. He knows nothing about me.”

And neither do I, I think, as I study him.

His nose is still crusted with blood from the fight.

“Oh,” I say. “You’ve got… May I?”

Drake nods, stiffly.

I tear a loose strip from my dress and clear the blood, trying not to catch his eyes for fear I’ll embarrass him.

Quieter, I say, “Are you all right?”

“Perfectly fine,” he answers. “Though I’ll admit I didn’t expect him to have such a right hook. Or be able to feint so well.”

I crumple the cloth.

I speak carefully. “Cosmer knows how to fight. In Hevalla, every scrap of food matters – it’s the nature of the Provision system. And our families are poorer than most. He learned young.”

“You said you didn’t know him.”

“I know. I was just angry at him.”

He seems to expect me to say more, so I mumble, “He was my friend. And he hurt me.”

“He looks the sort of idiot who would.”

“Don’t say that. He isn’t an idiot. I just misjudged his character.”

“And are you always a poor judge of character?”

I smile faintly. “I’m friends with you, aren’t I? You tell me.”

“Ara. I am glad we have agreed to be alli—” He cuts himself off. “Friends. Whatever Integration entails, we will need to keep our heads about us, to keep our loyalties.”

“That’s what I want. I can’t fight against Rhavna⁠—”

I have to stop myself, because Cosmer emerges from the hatch. He plops down opposite us, dumping a tray on the table. The two wooden spoons, blunt metal forks and small plates of cured meat and pickled vegetables clatter.

“Keep your cutlery,” he says. “We carry our own and clean them ourselves. Prevents infections from spreading.”

I’ve never heard of such a thing. But I guess an infection would take down a tightly packed place like this.