Page 49 of Carousel

One of them.

Seeing Rike is proof that whatever Dezeeves is doing to enemy soldiers is working. Rike would never fight against Rhavna. He loved his country.

And so do I.

If the conversion works on me, I’ll be fighting for people like Vikemy, alongside people like Chapp, who will still hate me and want me dead anyway.

But how to stop it?

Drake had said he’d known other Rhavnan soldiers to throw themselves overboard ships to avoid exactly this fate.

But what about my family? My loyalty may change, but isn’t that a small price to pay for my freedom? At least, once the war is over, I’ll be going back to them alive.

The thought doesn’t sit right with me. I’ll have to find a way I can do both. Get back to my family, and stay loyal. There must be a way to avoid this conversion, and Drake and I will find it.

At the front of the queue, I’m passed a wooden bowl of gruel and a tin cup of water.

Cosmer, meanwhile, is given nothing.

Oh. The I’m not allowed to eat the food here thing. I make a note to myself to try to understand what that’s about – and if it’s the reason he seems so thin.

“Well. Eat,” he says, when we’re seated at one of the packed benches.

I feel embarrassed, suddenly, that I ate in front of him yesterday. In the light of day, when I’m not even that hungry, it doesn’t seem fair to do that again.

“I’m actually okay this morning,” I say, sitting back. “Do you want this?”

He shrugs. “Only if you don’t.”

“Go ahead.” I slide the bowl towards him, and my spoon.

He stares at them. “Thank you,” he says, after a beat.

He eats slowly, as if savouring every mouthful.

I try to piece it together.

“So, you can eat, but you just can’t be served? Am I understanding that right?”

“Leave it, Ara,” he says. Firm.

I look over at Rike. He’s laughing. The sound is like a punch to my gut.

He seemed like he’d been about to tell me something.

If only I’d had more time.

I decide I’m irritated about that, and I let it show.

“Why didn’t you let me talk to Rike for longer?”

“You’d talked to him for long enough.”

I roll my eyes. “Drake. Rike. I’m just not allowed to have any male friends, am I?” I’m half joking.

But I’m half not.

“Of course you can have male friends. They just can’t be Rhavnan.”