Page 31 of The Awful Truth

“When I heard you went out with that guy last night, I just…I don’t know…something snapped. The thought of you with someone else was unbearable, and I started thinking, what if we could make this work? Like, really make it work.” He cupped her cheek with one hand, his eyes searching hers for the truth. “Think about it, Char. We’re so perfect together. What if we found a way?”

“I…” She closed her mouth, then opened it again. “I’m shocked. I never thought…”

“Me either. Not really,” he said, his face lighting up. “I just figured we’d keep doing what we’re doing until you wanted to end things, but honestly, that’s not enough for me. Not anymore.” He kissed her again, pulling her to him, and she let out a little moan, not sure if it was because she was so hungry and parched and slightly dizzy from the heat, or if it was because of him. When he stopped, he gazed at her. “I shouldn’t be here. Not right now. I know it’s a lot to think about, Char. But promise you’ll at least consider it.”

She nodded, feeling totally confused. He slipped out the door and she stood alone in the cool room, her mind spinning. Did she want this? He was old enough to be her father. But then again, that had its perks. He was rich and manly and confident, and he seemed to know everything about everything. She would never have to work again. No horrible first dates with losers who only wanted sex and nothing more. No more fourteen-hour days at her computer. Just fun and luxury. They’d travel the world. He wanted to travel. She could see everything, go to every magical place on the planet that she’d always wanted to see—safaris in Kenya, nights out in Singapore, the turquoise waters of Bali. It would be an easy life with him. Once they got past the horrible scandal and his kids hating her and the public branding her a homewrecker. But maybe there was a way that it could work. And maybe if it did, they could be blissfully happy together.

ANTONIA

Antonia lay stiffly on the chaise next to the swimming pool wondering how long she would have to pretend she was enjoying herself. Half an hour? An hour? Five minutes? Ted had gone to shower and change. Miguel and Winslow were with Travis, so she couldn’t undo the damage from the night before. She had tried to go with Ted so they could talk in private, but Mercy had looped her arm through Antonia’s and led her up to the pool, insisting that she take advantage of the beautiful day at sea. Now, I know you two probably can’t stand to be apart for more than a few minutes, but Ted’ll find you. You rest!

Mercy excused herself to go change into her swimsuit, with a promise of coming right back for some girl talk and a dip in the pool. Perfect. Because that’s what she needed right now. A bikini-clad raven-haired bombshell frolicking in the water.

She texted Charlotte to check on her and quickly received a reply.

Charlotte

Good, thanks. Just getting caught up on some work.

She stared at the reply. It was ‘dry’ as her kids would call it. No emotion. Just the bare minimum. Her mind wandered back to the day she yelled at her. She could still see Charlotte’s face when she said the words ‘incompetent little twit’ at her. Antonia’s tone had been calm. It was always calm. Controlled. Which somehow made it all so much worse—as if it had been a calculated thing (which it wasn’t) instead of a knee-jerk reaction (which it shouldn’t have been). She wrote back:

I’ll be at the pool on the top deck putting in some time with Mercy. Ted should be joining us soon. I hope you can join us to enjoy some sun!

Just please wear a nice roomy caftan.

Oh God, Antonia could barely stand herself. When had she gotten so insecure? She stared out at an island they were passing by, dotted with white houses covered by clay tile roofs.

When had she become so insecure? And what the hell was all that about anyway? The truth was she was too busy to even know what was going on in her own head. All these random thoughts popping up that she brushed aside without any introspection whatsoever. Closing her eyes, she tried to think back to when she had started along the aging, bitter queen path, but she came up blank. Probably because she was still a little fuzzy from the night before. She would have to journal about it later and see if she could figure out the root cause of all these thoughts. Nip it in the bud before she said something nasty again.

She opened her eyes just in time to see Ted spinning on his heel and starting back toward the stairs. “Ted, where are you going?”

He paused, then turned back to her. “I thought you were napping. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

No, he didn’t. He just didn’t want to be around her. “I was just…trying to figure something out, but I’m afraid I don’t have the mental bandwidth at the moment. Come and sit. I was hoping we could talk.”

He glanced out at the sea as if trying to decide, then sighed and walked over to her. Plunking himself in the chaise next to hers, he said, “I don’t have a lot of time. Travis wants some of the men to go out fishing in a few minutes.”

“This won’t take long.” Sitting up, she spun to face him, getting a whiff of his aftershave and taking in his damp salt and pepper hair. It was darker when it was wet, like it was when they were young. “I wanted to apologize for last night.”

“Yeah, you really might have done some damage. What were you thinking?”

She shook her head. “I just got caught up in the moment, and I’m really sorry about what I said.”

His jaw clenched and she knew he wasn’t about to make this easy for her, not that she could blame him. “That’s not something we can afford to have happen.”

“I know. As soon as I woke up, I felt sick about it. I was hoping to get a chance to talk to Miguel and Winslow and tell them I didn’t mean any of it. But that’s going to be a little harder to do now that our hosts have arrived.”

“Just leave it alone. They were both hammered. I’m sure they completely forgot what you said.”

She stiffened slightly at him giving her a directive, but since she was in the wrong, she wasn’t about to call him on it. “I still think I should try, if the right opportunity presents itself.”

He shook his head. “Nope. Don’t do it. It’ll show weakness. If it somehow comes back to bite us, we can always laugh it off. Make it sound like they misunderstood.”

She thought about that for a second. It was horribly manipulative, but it would likely work. Her chest felt heavy, but she knew he was right. “Okay. Listen, I really am sorry. And I’m not going to drink like that again for the rest of the trip.”

“Probably best that way.”

She stared at him for a second, then said, “Are we okay?”