Page 64 of Veil of Blood and Bone

My lip trembles, and I reach for her, for him. My hand brushes his forearm. “Thank you.”

The man doesn’t hiss. Nothing as stereotypical. There’s only a forced exhale as he takes a step away. “Careful. Before you bring us both to ruin again.”

I can’t get my pulse to straighten.

I’m not the only one crushed; he just hides it better. His features tear me into pieces, and panic floods into the emptiness.

I can’t do this, Mom.

Something is happening to me. The steady boat of life, where I care for Audra, care for myself, care for this insulated life of ours, has a crack in the bedrock.

Fumbling backward, I thump my fist to my chest to get my heart started again because for some reason, it stuttered out. Not a skipped beat but a full on company halt.

How am I going to explain the store, or what’s left of it, to Barnes?

How am I going to fix the way the last two days have fried my brain?

Trolls, and vampires. Men changing into ravens.

I’d grabbed a weapon from Forest and run into danger instead of away, like I’ve been trained. You always run. Mom made sure we knew how to pack on a whim.

You never run into trouble.

It just always finds you anyway. That's why we were always prepared.

I make it to the threshold and the broken skeleton of the door and drop to my knees, breath shallow and an unnatural sweat plastered over my skin. Oh, shit. Fuck me. My chest squeezes.

People can die from panic attacks, can’t they? They might turn into full blown cardiac episodes. What’s going to happen to Audra if I’m gone? There won’t be any poofing into snow for me.

Strong, cold hands wrap around my neck and drag me backward until I'm half crouched, half upright. Glass scrapes my legs, my palms, and then Forest deposits me on my ass and pushes my head toward my stomach.

“Inhale, little shieldmaiden. You did a brave thing today.”

I clench the knives tight enough to brand myself with the designs on their handles. My fists plant on the floor but my lungs are three sizes smaller than they used to be.

“Says the man who turns into a fucking bird.”

Breathe? No. I’m barely existing.

“And if one more person tells me to breathe...” I manage.

Forest slowly pries the blades from between my fingers. “You won’t need these anymore.”

I might, though, if another fantastic creature shows up, and I know where to find them.

He drives his attention out the door with one ear trained outside. Cold air blusters around us, and his expression hints at a threat that is far from over.

I’m going to puke. I’ve lost control, all sense of it. I’m going crazy. Numbness tingles up from my feet to the sides of my neck and the tips of my ears.

How long do these things usually take before they subside?

Tires squeal from the road and something soft thuds from outside the store. “What the fuck? Why is there a fucking snowdrift in the middle of the street? You’ve got to be kidding me!” A man with the Boston accent punches out his vowels.

Do I take personal responsibility for the state of his front bumper? Or the rest of the vehicles piling up behind him.

The traffic has started moving again.

I groan, and Forest uses his hold on my neck to lift my head. Another squeeze brings me up to my feet.