Page 24 of At The End Of The Day

“Shit,” I whispered, bringing the cigarette to my mouth for a long drag. For the millionth time since the attraction sparked, I told myself I needed to back off from whatever the hell was happening between me and Dash. Not only was I ruining our friendship, I was being unfaithful to the love of my life. It wasn’t right, I couldn’t do this to Billy.

Burdened with the weight that was getting heavier every year, I dropped my cigarette into the bottle, set it on the coffee table, and slouched low into the cushions. Going numb, everything inside shut down. I hated my fucking life.

Chapter 12

Vincent da Silva

Thursday 08.22.2019

I knocked, cleared my throat, and walked into Dash’s bedroom. My muscles tense, I braced for whatever wrath he had waiting for me. A long, sleepless night had brought a lot of clarity and a thick wave of regret laced with shame.

As usual, he was at the desk, both elbows on the surface, his fists on his cheeks as he scanned the monitors. Hearing me, he sat up and twisted his waist, his eyelids rounding slightly. “What are you doing here?”

Scoffing, I strode forward and pulled the chair back, ignoring his startled shout. “It’s nine. Every morning at nine, I take over while you rest. Get up.”

“Oh,” he replied with a sense of disappointment.

He stood and, for a moment, our chests were inches apart, our sights locked on one another. Unable to stop, my focus lowered to his mouth and lust tickled my stomach. I hadn’t lied to him last night when I said he’d been the best I’d ever had. He may not have been a very willing participant, but he had made me cum harder than I ever had. It made me practically writhe with longing at how much better he’d be if he hadn’t been coerced. How goddamn amazing would Dash be as a willing lover?

He gulped, pulling my attention back to his eyes. Breathing a little heavier, his complexion was darkening. My head tilting, excitement surged through my system, making everything tingle. My heart racing, the urge to cup the back of his head and pull him close for a kiss was almost too overwhelming to ignore.

A shallow, jagged inhale had his chest puffing out and it touched mine. His brows lifting, his irises started to glaze, his pupils dilating. On a shaky breath, he whispered my name and something inside exploded. I grew dizzy, my stomach knotted, and my fingers curled to fists. Though I knew I was fooling myself, I couldn’t help the voice in my ear whispering that Dash actually looked like he wanted that kiss.

Instead of giving in to my intrusive thoughts, I bowed my chin, stepped around him, and plopped to the leather chair, scooting it to the desk. Dash exhaled loudly, his shoulders slumping forward. A hand burying in his hair, he dropped a muted curse.

I snatched the pack of cigarettes, tapped one out, and lit it, filling my lungs. “Looks like Letta is cooking some breakfast. You should go down there and get something to eat before going to sleep.”

“Shit.”

For a long moment, he stood there, his back partially to me, one hand on his side. When he finally muttered another curse and stomped for the door, my voice blurted out his name before I thought to do so. My pulse skipped, stunned at my own action. My vision shifting to see his reflection pausing, I mentally scrambled, trying to find something to say.

“What, Vinny?” he croaked.

I frowned and deflated, spinning the chair to face him. “I, uh…I-I wanted to, um. Ahem. I wanted to apologize.”

He craned his neck to peer at me, his expression completely defeated. “For what?”

“Everything. I honestly don’t know what got into me. I dunno,” I grumbled, throwing my free hand out so it slapped to my thigh. “All this shit with Jackyl and my sister…” I shook my head, focusing on the burn on the carpet when I dropped my cigarette the other day. The spot was freshly cleaned, the scent of Pine-Sol still lingering in the air, erasing last night’s vomit. My eyelids closing, I huffed and turned away from those images trying to form by the window. “My mind is all fucked up right now and…and I dunno, I guess I was desperate for a distraction.”

Hesitantly shifting his weight to fully face me, he crossed his arms. “You’re gay, aren’t you?”

Tipping my head back to stare down my nose, I pulled a long breath that flared my nostrils.

“Just us, Vin,” he stated matter of factly. “Nothing outside this room.”

“Yeah,” I confessed, reveling the rush of adrenaline to my brain at the sense of relief that brought. For the very first time in my life, I spoke the words out loud and it felt fucking amazing. “Yeah, I am.”

“You ain’t never had pussy, have you?”

“No.”

His profile to me, his jaw clamped, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Heaving a sigh, he rubbed at the beard growing and then lowered his chin to pinch the bridge of his nose. “So, last night, when you said…what you said,” he grumbled, waving his hand.

“That you were the best?”

He bristled, a muscle in his jaw flexing, his eyes rounded.

The corner of my mouth lifting, I nodded. “Yeah, you were. I ain’t never lied to you—”