Page 75 of At The End Of The Day

“What the fuck are you talking about?” he asked breathlessly.

“You know what happened on that mountain, Billy,” I snapped back just as bitterly. It was just dawning on me that since picking up the kids from his place, I’d not heard from him until this morning. Not one call or text to ask how I was doing, was I healing okay, nothing.

“Vincent.”

“I’ve changed, Billy,” I stated with a little more authority. “Ive been doing a lot of thinking.”

His heavy pants echoing in the phone, he croaked, “Don’t do this.”

I ignored him, closed my eyelids, and continued. “And I don’t think we should be involved no more.”

“God, no, Vinny. Oh, jesus, no.”

“You ain’t never gonna leave Becca, and we both know it.”

“Vinny, please!” He was frantic, panicked, his tone quaking.

“And that ain’t good enough for me no more.”

“I’ll leave her. She’s gone. Today. I swear it.”

I shook my head, the pain in my soul making me writhe internally. Sweat coating my skin, my throat began to collapse under the pressure of emotions. “I can’t do this, Billy. You ain’t leaving her. You know it as you say it—”

“Vinny, don’t you dare fucking do this!” he blasted so hard, I flinched and pulled the phone away briefly. “I fucking love you!”

My eyelids clenched, my features twisting. “No, you don’t.”

He choked on a gasp, silence filling my ear. After about ten seconds, he whispered, “Why would you say that?”

“Because if you did, you never woulda married Becca in the first place.”

“You know why I married her. You understand—”

“The fuck I do!” I bellowed out of nowhere, not even feeling the resentment bubbling to the surface. It just broke free, in that split second, years of oppression pouring forth like an erupting volcano. “I never fucked around on you. I never dated women to play an act for people. I never chose anyone over you, Billy. I was always, always!” I bellowed, slicing a hand through the air. I grunted at the pain it caused to my ribs but kept going. “Wanted just you. You ain’t never gonna claim me in public. You ain’t never gonna take a fucking stand.”

His tone hollow, he seethed, “You never chose someone else? Then who sucked your dick when you were locked up? Huh? That wasn’t my mouth on your body. Who was it, Vincent? You fucking hypocritical liar. You want to act like you’re all high and mighty but you cheated on me in prison.”

I shrunk further with shame, covering my face. My tone deflated, I muttered, “It’s over, Billy.”

“You better mean it, Vincent, because you remember what the fuck happened when I found out about you whoring in jail.”

Another cringe had me whimpering in pain, my spine stretching to rub at the damp bandages. My face upturned to the ceiling, I sucked on my teeth. “We both know you’re bluffing, Billy. You got a wife, you got the image you always wanted. Go, be happy. You have my blessing. But I wanna be happy, too, and I can’t have that with you.”

“Vincent—”

“Goodbye, Billy.”

I lowered the phone and tapped the little red circle to end the call. Cursing, I tossed the device to my mattress and carefully peeled away the ruined bandages. When I glimpsed at my reflection in the mirror over my dresser, the floor bottomed out and I gawked at Dash, sitting in the wheelchair, staring at me somberly.

Far too abruptly, I spun around, my wet feet squeaking the floor. “Ah, shit,” I cried out, both arms hugging my chest. “How… how long you been there?”

“Pretty much the whole time. You okay?”

The emotions, the severity of what I just did came to a head and tears burned my eyes. My chin shaking, I backed away from him, fear overriding my thoughts. I sidestepped to the closet, snatched a pair of jeans off a hanger so sharply, the plastic snapped, and stormed out of the bedroom, slamming the door. Staggering down the hallway while tugging the jeans on, I fell against the wall more than once, knocking a picture off its hook. It tumbled to the floor, the glass shattering.

“Fuck,” I croaked, finally hoisting the denim to my waist. Pushing through the pain, I snatched my keys off the kitchen counter and hurried out the house, slamming that door, as well. I hopped into my car, started the engine, and sped in reverse until I could turn the vehicle around. Stomping the gas, I raced down the drive, needing to get away from everyone. I needed privacy, time to process what the hell I just did.

What the hell did I just do?