Page 601 of End Game

He glances away. “Does this ever feel…”

I wait.

“Like we're using you?”

That is not the question I expected. “Who is we?”

“Me. Cami. Dex.”

His mouth twists. “All of us keep coming to you when we want someone to take over our brain for a while.”

I sit with that longer than he probably expects.

Not because I need to invent the answer.

Because I’ve never even considered it and I want to make sure I give him the right one.

“No.”

His eyes return to mine. “No?”

“No.”

I lean back slightly. “If you expected me to regulate you constantly without asking whether I wanted that responsibility, that could become a problem. If you treated my dominance like a service I owed you because I happen to be good at it, I would resent it.”

Micah listens without moving.

“But that isn't what any of you do.”

I pause.

“Cami asks. Dex asks. You’re asking now.”

His throat works once.

“I enjoy control. I enjoy sadism. I enjoy the technical part of building a scene around someone else's responses. I enjoy being trusted enough that another person can stop making decisions for a while because they know I won't abuse the opportunity.”

Something warm settles into my chest as I say it.

“The fact that three people I love have independently decided I'm someone they trust with that is not something I experience as being used, Micah.”

His eyes drop.

“It is a privilege.”

He stays very still.

I give him a moment.

Then, because sincerity becomes uncomfortable when allowed to sit too long, I add, “Also, to be clear, I am going to enjoy hitting you.”

His laugh escapes before he can stop it. “Good.”

“I would be concerned if that disappointed you.”

“It doesn't.”

“Excellent.”