Page 33 of No Going Back

12

Remy

I’m straddling Cole on the couch now, face buried deep in the warm crook of his neck, breathing him in like he’s the only thing keeping me tethered to the planet. His hands have been rubbing slow, steady circles on my back for the past twenty minutes… big palms sliding up and down my spine, like he’s trying to hold all my broken pieces together without saying a word.

After he stood up off the floor and aggressively shoved every last thing of Hannah’s back into that suitcase, he wheeled it straight out the door and left it in the hallway like trash waiting for pickup. Then he came back, sat down, opened his arms, and said “C’mere.” I didn’t even hesitate, just climbed into his lap and let him wrap me up.

My arms are looped around his neck, fingers playing absently with the short hairs at the nape, twisting and tugging in a mindless way that calms me. I’ve finally stopped shaking, breathing steadier now, but I still can’t get over it. I can’t believe what Hannah did… the lies and manipulation. Who does that? Who comes back pretending everything’s fine just to try and trap someone into having a baby, then disappear again? What if she had gotten pregnant… would she even have told me? Would I have had a kid out there somewhere and never known?

I try to shove the thoughts away because I know, 100%, I didn’t come inside her, not once. She might think I did, but I faked it. So, she can’t get pregnant from her time back here… she can’t. But we still have no idea where she is. If she’s not in class, where the hell is she hiding? A friend’s dorm? Off campus somewhere? The uncertainty gnaws at me.

Cole yawns, deep and sleepy, and shifts under me, lifting his hips slightly to slouch down the couch more comfortably. He takes me with him, my weight settling heavier against his chest. I close my eyes and melt into him. I feel safe, cared for, and wanted. Not for some ulterior motive, not to trick me into anything, just wanted. The feeling blooms warm and sudden in my chest, then lower, and before I can stop it, I’m hard. Not horny-hard, just… safe-hard. My cock twitches against his stomach, insistent.

Cole freezes for half a second, like he’s not sure he felt it, then it happens again. He laughs, the sound vibrating through me. “Dude… are you seriously hard right now?”

I curl tighter into his chest, hiding my face in his neck like that’ll make it disappear. “I can’t control it…” I mumble, voice muffled against his skin. “You just make me feel safe… and wanted.”

He hums, content and pleased, and presses a soft kiss to the top of my head. “Good… but this is not the time to have sex.”

I laugh, shaky but real. “I know. It’ll probably go away… maybe.”

He laughs again, deeper, and the vibration makes me twitch harder. “Did you want to go to Jeb’s party later?”

I shrug, shoulders brushing his collarbones. “Sounds like fun. We could use it. But… I can’t get drunk knowing Hannah might try to come back here. Probably try to force herself on drunk me and keep trying.”

Cole inhales sharp, like the image physically hurts him. He squeezes me tighter. “Okay. I’ll think of an excuse. Jeb won’t hold a grudge.”

“Thanks.”

I feel bad, though. Like I’m keeping him from having a normal night. Stopping a nineteen-year-old from going to a college party because of my mess. I sit up properly, his hands slide from my back down to settle on my thighs, warm through my sweats.

“You should go,” I say quietly.

Cole blinks. “What? No.”

“Dude… I’m not stopping you from having a good night just to deal with my problems.”

He rolls his eyes, exaggerated, fond.

“That’s rude,” I mutter.

He inhales, like he’s thinking something over, then grabs the back of my head and pulls me down. The kiss is sudden, overwhelming, mouth crashing into mine, tongue sweeping in deep. I moan instantly, pressing closer, hands fisting in his hoodie. He groans back, low and hungry, hands sliding down to grip my ass hard, pulling me tighter against him. I start grinding, needy rolls of my hips, cock aching against his stomach.

He pulls back just enough to breathe, lips brushing mine. “We should stop. We’ve got shit to deal with first.”

I nod fast, panting. “I know. Sorry.”

Cole shakes his head, thumbs stroking my cheeks. “You don’t need to apologise for that. I just want the next time we have sex to be when you’re actually mine.”

I grin shy and hide my face in his neck again.

He laughs softly. “You’re adorable like this.”

“Shut up,” I mumble against his skin. “I’m still the best left tackle you’ve ever had.”

He laughs louder, deep, pleased. “Damn right you are.”

I can’t help it. My hips roll slowly, just once, testing the friction, chasing the warm drag of Cole’s hardness against mine through our clothes. It feels too good, too right, like my body’s finally found home again after everything went to hell. Cole doesn’t say a word. Doesn’t push me off. Doesn’t even tense. So, I do it again, and again. Slow, deliberate grinds, building that sweet pressure low in my gut.