Page 165 of 4 Corinthians

“Damn,” I sighed and shook my head. “They went through with it?”

“To a degree,” he said. “They beat her but pulled their punches. They could’ve done some serious damage, especially Trey, but he didn’t. On the outside looking in, I know it looked bad, but I know my brother. I know what he’s capable of and the things he did to Six were not his worst.” He wiped his hand over his mouth. “He knew that Robert’s next request was going to be to assault her sexually. He got off on shit like that. Trey got word to us, dropped the location, and we got to her in time. Afterward we snatched Trey and Eight. Beat them within an inch of their lives, and they went back to Robert.”

“Why?”

“We still needed an in,” he answered with a shrug. “Trey has seen Robert maybe twice since then. Gentle too. He’s on Logan’s ass, trying to find him. He shows his face less than Robert does.”

“You trust your brother?” I asked. “And what I mean by that is do you think the man you call your brother is Trey and not the monster that Robert raised?”

Uri kept his attention on the sun going down in front of us. “Honestly?” he asked, looking over at me. “I pray every night that he’s the man I think he is and not the monster Robert created. I got too much at stake to be wrong.”

His answer was the reason I would keep the fact that Kenbral was there the night Robert attacked me to myself. He wasn’t ready to deal with the fact that he could be wrong about his brother. Uri needed some kind of hope to hold onto.

***

“So, how’s it going?” my therapist asked. I looked around my office, trying to get my thoughts in order. Usually, I was hesitant in therapy to give any information. Like Uri said, I held everything close to the vest. And for good reason.

“It’s going,” I answered with a shrug. “Nothing new to talk about.”

“You sure?” she asked, and I nodded. “Not even the new man in your life? This is the first one since your relationship ended, right?”

“Uri isn’t new,” I told her. She knew the real story behind Judah’s conception. Well, as close as it could be to the truth. I told her I was gang raped and I wasn’t sure who Judah’s daddy was. I was more in denial about who his father was than anything. She also didn’t know about Robert’s connection to my past. I told her I was assaulted as a child, before my parents died, and had gotten help thanks to my grandparents. She didn’t know the full story of me being responsible for their deaths.

“So we have a name?” She nodded, and I watched as she wrote something down. Doing virtual appointments was easier for me. I didn’t like the thought of talking to my therapist while we were in the same room. I felt like I was suffocating when we did. “Uri, what’s his last name?”

“Off limits,” I quickly said.

“Corinthians,” she sighed and set her pen down. “We cannot move forward if everything that happens to you is off limits. You’ve made great progress; your medicine has you on track. You’re thriving in your business and with your son. But to keep that going you are going to have to talk about the hard things.”

“I’m not ready to talk about Uri,” I told her. “He’s off limits for right now.”

“Why?” she questioned. “What makes him different?”

“Uri is just Uri,” I told her. I sat back in my chair and tapped my left hand against my thigh. “He isn’t bad; there’s no darkness to him when it comes to me. He loves me. I can see it in his eyes, in the way that he moves, his intentions; they are all out of love and protection.”

“Then why are you afraid to discuss him?”

“I’m not afraid,” I told her. “I know the good, bad, and ugly about Uri. He isn’t what I’m afraid to discuss.”

“Then who is?”

“Me,” I replied and looked away. “If I discuss Uri, I'll tell you all the good. I’m going to have to tell you the bad, and for him that’s me.”

“I don’t believe that.”

I laughed softly and shook my head. “It doesn’t matter what you believe. I know the truth.” I turned and looked at her. “I’m the bad when it comes to Uri. I bring the bad memories. I’m the reminder of all the bad that happened to him as a child.”

“Then why are you two together?” she asked. “If you know you are the bad in his life, why subject him to that? Don’t you want him to be happy?”

“Because I’ve loved him well before I knew what love felt like between anyone that wasn’t family,” I told her, using the same words that Uri had a few days prior. “I tried to let him go. We went years without seeing each other, countless nights, and some easy days. I swear the moment I saw him again after all those years I felt a peace I didn’t know I was missing.”

“And you don’t think he felt the same?” she asked.

“Probably.” I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I answered. “I want to think he did, but I can't put words in his mouth.”

“Ask him,” she said. I opened my mouth, and she held up her hand. “Ask him, Corinthians. And when he tells you yes, then I want you to stop denying what you already know.”

“You are so sure about your answer,” I laughed and shook my head. “He could think I was a damn problem.”