Page 211 of Lethal Obsession

“It was wrong of me to leave without telling you that I planned to come back.” His voice isn’t quite steady.

“Then you do plan to come back?” I manage.

“I always wanted to come back, Ofelia. I just wasn’t sure if it was fair to you if I did.” He gives an unsteady laugh. “That one is still up for debate. But I asked you to marry me because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That hasn’t changed, for me.”

“It hasn’t changed for me, either,” I manage.

“That’s good.” There’s a slightly wired edge to his voice. “Because I’ve been giving it some more thought. And I wondered if a Sicilian wedding is still something you might agree to?”

I’m quite literally stunned into silence.

“Asking you this right now,” he goes on when I don’t speak, “with everything that’s going on, is probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever done. But it occurred to me that Lars could wake up at any moment. And if he does, and I haven’t already told you how I feel—” He breaks off, pausing to steady himself. “I realized that when I did, you might wonder if I would ever have told you at all.”

I clutch the phone, listening to his labored breaths, wishing more than anything I could touch him.

“Worse,” he says, his voice so tight it’s barely there, “if Lars—if he doesn’t wake up—” He stops, and I hear him swallow. “I want you to be my wife, Ofelia,” he says finally. “No matter what happens, I want us to face it together. I want you to know that now, before another moment passes. To know that I choose us, no matter what.”

Yes.

I don’t realize I’ve spoken aloud until he says tentatively, “yes to what, exactly?”

“Yes, getting married in Sicily is something I agree to.” I make a noise that is half sob, half laugh. “Will it—does it need to happen quickly?”

“Well, I did tell you I’m allergic to the word fiancé.”

Hearing even an attempt at the dry humor I love so much makes my being ache. I give a choked laugh. “You did.”

“But back to the point.” Alexei pauses. “I called because I need you to know how I feel. The rest of it is up to you.”

“I don’t mind what happens after that,” I add hastily. “So long as my future is with you, I don’t care if we run forever.”

The silence on the other end of the line goes on long enough to make me worry that I’ve said the wrong thing. “Alexei? Are you still there?”

I hear him draw a ragged breath. “Yes,” he says quietly. “I’m still here.”

“Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?”

“No.” He says it then stops. “You just reminded me of something your father said.”

“Oh, dear.” I grimace. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Alexei actually laughs. “He was remarkably restrained, given the circumstances. He told me that I couldn’t ask you to run forever.”

Papa, I think, my heart twisting painfully. I love that you care so much for me. And I hate that you’re still trying to control this.

“He shouldn’t have—”

“He was right,” Alexei cuts me off. “When I was first planning that wedding, the only future I could see was one where you and I would have to disappear. Lars—” His voice falters for a moment, then continues with renewed determination. “Lars knew that. He confronted me. I denied it, and he pretended to believe it, but I don’t think he ever really did. He—knows me. Too well.”

Knows. Not knew. It’s a small distinction, but lately it’s one that Benny and I, in particular, treasure.

“I told him then that I would never disappear without telling him, because if I did, his voice would just live rent-free in my mind anyway. The irony is,” he says quietly, “that it was him who disappeared, not me. But I was right. I do hear him in my head.”

He gives a cough of laughter. “When I have a chance to hear fucking anything over all the unsolicited advice I’ve been given lately.”

That makes me laugh, despite everything.

“For an imaginary voice, he’s been pretty forthright in his opinions,” Alexei says dryly. “Particularly when it comes to you. Or maybe it’s just that I finally understand what he was always trying to tell me. Either way, I know that when he wakes up, I want you and me to both be there. I don’t want a future where we’re running, Ofelia. Where we’ve disappeared. I want to give us both a different life.”