Page 4 of Rafael

Chapter Three - Amelia

I can still feel Rafael's kiss against my lips. My fingers have a mind of their own and I don't realize I'm touching them until I hear Rafael suck in a ragged breath. That kiss was real. I don't understand it. I didn't expect it.

But I'd do just about anything to make it happen again.

"Why, Rafe?" I need to know. Was he expecting someone else? Did he trip?

Is there any reality where he wants me as much as I want him?

"You've got too much on your mind," Rafael shifts away from me, trying to put distance between us. "Let's figure that out first."

"You said you'd keep me safe. What more is there to figure out?" It's weak to give over all trust to this man, but it's Rafael. Of course I trust him. He'll keep Vinnie away from me while we figure out our next step. But I'm not sure I can breathe without knowing why he kissed me.Â

If I was just a little braver I would lean in and seal my lips against his.

"I'll make up the guest room for you," Rafael says as he tries to get up. He really doesn't want to have this conversation.

I need to have it.

"Please. Why did you kiss me? If it was a mistake, fine, I get that. We never have to talk about it again." I sound strong when I say it. That's good. Rafael's rejection will break my heart now that I've tasted the chance at something more. But at least I'll know.

He makes a pained sound in his throat and grabs my shoulders, turning me so we're facing each other full on. "A mistake? Never." He looks wrecked, his eyes stormy with emotion and his mouth tense.Â

I want to kiss his pain away, but I'm frozen in place, my heart too scared to want. "Then what was it?"

We're standing at the precipice of something, I feel it deep in my bones. My heart is beating so hard that Rafael has to hear it, has to feel it. I'm surprised it's not pounding out of my chest.Â

Whatever Rafael has been fighting, I see the second he gives into it. His finger tightens on my shoulders, but he doesn't pull me closer. "You have to know, Amelia."

"Know what?" I'm whispering, as if speaking too loud will break the magic of the moment.

"Four years."

"Four years?" I need to stop repeating everything he says. But I'm afraid that if I don't repeat it, it won't be real. This whole day, this whole week, is so messed up, and yet I'm here teetering on the edge of hope because Rafael is looking at me with desire in his eyes.

"That's how long I've wanted you. We were at a party at your Uncle Dino's. Angelo and I were doing... I don't even remember. Then you came out all ready to dive into the pool, wearing this red swimsuit and looking like a temptress. I saw you then. I couldn't look away." Each word sounds like he's confessing to a priest. "But I was too old for you then. I'm too old for you now."

I remember the party, the swimsuit. I'd wanted him to notice me. I'd been determined to make a move. I chickened out at the last minute. But it was good to know it worked. "You're not too old. I'm an adult."

"And I'm eleven years older. When you were nineteen-"

"That was four years ago, what's your excuse now?" We're so close we're sharing our air. All I need to do is lean in an inch and he's mine. And I want it so bad, but it's like there's some power holding me frozen in place.

"I'm still that much older," he says, but his eyes flick down and stare at my lips.

My tongue darts out to wet them.

He groans.Â

"Make me forget all the bad stuff. Please." He's the only one who can do it.

He sucks in a ragged breath. "I can't take you like that. I can't take advantage."

I'm not sure who's trying to take advantage of who. My body is heavy with want and I'm aware of myself in a way I've never been before. I need Rafael to touch me. "You wouldn't be. I know what I'm getting into."

A change comes over him and his hand goes back, his fingers sliding through my hair. "Give yourself to me and I'm never letting you go."

He says it like it's a threat. Instead it makes me smile. "That's all I've ever wanted."