Page 7 of Rafael

Chapter Five - Amelia

The sheets smell like Rafael. That's the first thing I realize as I blink my eyes open. I'm in his bed, curled up on his mattress. And it's still dark outside.Â

Rafael is watching me. He's sitting on a stool at the foot of the bed, elbows resting on his knees and hands clasped under his chin. He looks like he's thinking hard.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep." I blush as I remember what we just did. I don't think I've been asleep for long, but I don't see a clock so I can't tell. There's a dark look on Rafael's face and I'm afraid I've put it there by bringing my problems to him. I know he promised to help, but I can't ruin his life. "I should probably take off." I don't know where I'll go. But I won't hurt him.

"What? No." That jolts Rafael up off of his stool and onto the bed.Â

For a second I think he's going to pin me down. I wish he would. But he is frozen on his knees, the weight of his body pinning me with the sheet.

"You're not leaving," he commands. There's still a dark look in his eyes, like he's holding back some secret. But there's heat there too.

I want that heat. I want all of him. And even though he's only a foot away from me, a part of me still feels alone. "Why didn't you..." I can't get the question all the way out. I shouldn't be embarrassed. What we shared was beautiful, something I've waited so long for.

But we didn't exactly share it. I was the only one who came.

"What?" Rafael asks. His fingers find my arm and trace a path, even with the sheet between us I shiver.

"Why didn't you fuck me?" It feels naughty to say that word. My world is small and sheltered. I'm not supposed to curse. I'm not supposed to act out. I'm not supposed to ask for things.

And yet, here I am.

Rafael's breathing is harsh and his fingers flex over my arm. "You're dealing with a lot."

"And I can take more. I want to." Those moments with Rafael's head buried between my legs, his tongue doing wicked things to me were the best thing I've had in... well, forever. "Please. I want all of you."

I love you.

I don't say it. I can't. It's way too soon. He'll think I'm lying or laying it on thick. But I've had feelings for him forever. And now he's actually looking at me. Now he actually wants me. I'm afraid that I'll wake up and this will all be a dream. And I wouldn't trade a second of the hell I've endured for the last few months if it means I also have to give up Rafael.

Our eyes lock and the moment freezes all around us. Then Rafael surges forward with a groan and covers my mouth.

Yes!

I yield to his kiss. His tongue sweeps in and he gives me everything I need. My body lights up with want, heat surging through me until I'm burning up and slick between my legs.

He can give me this with just a kiss.

The sheet is still between us and I struggle against it. I can feel Rafael's lips curve against mine as he pushes it down. One obstacle down, but there's still our clothes.

"Naked," I say. "I need to feel you." I want to see him. I want to know he's mine, even if it's just for tonight.

He shifts and has to tear his lips away. I'd complain, but he's pulling his shirt over his head and bearing his naked chest.

Oh yes, I like that.

I want to reach out and trace my fingers-and my tongue-over his defined muscles. I want to memorize every inch of his flesh until I know it with my eyes closed.

I want to spend forever learning every secret his body holds.

Instead I shimmy out of my own outfit. It's a bit difficult since I'm laying down, but I manage. And then I'm naked. There's not much to strip out of when you're only wearing a dress.

I want to reach for the sheet before Rafael turns my way again.

I also want to raise my hands above my head and put myself on display for him.

No one's seen me like this before.