Page 105 of Line Change

I left after the locker room while the other guys headed downtown. Nobody excluded me. I didn’t want to stand in another crowded bar watching Nolan laugh with everyone else while he pretended I wasn’t there.

“Hey,” I say.

Grayson sounds surprised. “You answered.”

“Usually how phones work.”

Korolev says something in the background. I can’t make out the words, but Grayson answers him with, “No, he’s home.”

“Where did you think I was?” I ask.

“Out with the team. You just made the playoffs. Why are you sitting at home?”

“We have treatment in the morning.” It’s true. It also has nothing to do with why I came home.

I could tell him I’m tired or say everybody went somewhere I didn’t want to go. Grayson would accept either answer because he called expecting to leave a message, not interrogate me.

I’m tired of giving people the answer that gets me out of the conversation.

“Grayson, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“You’re not retiring, are you?”

The question catches me wrong enough that I almost lose what I was going to say. “Try not to sound so excited.”

“I’m sorry that I’m trying to save what’s left of your teeth.”

Korolev laughs in the background. Grayson tells him to mind his business.

I laugh, but the words still won’t come together. “I’m…”

I still don’t have a word that feels right. I know I want Nolan, and I know Grayson won’t think less of me. My mouth still won’t work.

The sound on Grayson’s end changes. Fabric scrapes over the speaker, followed by footsteps and a door shutting. Korolev’s voice disappears.

“Seriously, Ben, is everything all right?”

The concern in his voice makes this sound even worse than it is. “I need you to promise not to freak out.”

“Oh my god, did you get injured? Are you sick? What’s going on?”

“I’m not injured.”

Grayson’s breath comes hard through the speaker. “Then tell me.”

My grip tightens around it. With Grayson, I have to say it on purpose.

“I’m seeing someone,” I say. “Or I was.”

“Why do you sound like you’re being stabbed when you say that?”

I laugh again. It comes out rougher this time. “Um…”

“You’re making this seem like a big deal.” Grayson stops. “Is it your coach’s daughter or something? A teammate’s wife?”

“It’s Nolan Fraser.”

“I didn’t know he was married.”