Page 84 of Line Change

“Next time you don’t want me around, just say it.” He drops his arms, but only so he can shove both hands into his pockets. “I don’t care. Why would I care?”

He cares. He wouldn’t be this angry if he didn’t, but saying that is probably the fastest way to make him leave.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want you around.”

Nolan shifts, and a stack of empty skate boxes scrapes against the shelf behind him. There isn’t enough room for him to step away from me. “You said you were busy and then ignored me for two days.”

“I was with Grayson.” That explains where I was. It doesn’t explain why I ignored him.

“I know that now.”

Nolan waits. I brought him in here to explain, but the part where I explain why I didn’t type four words into my phone is where the explanation stops working.

“I just didn’t want⁠—”

Nolan steps into the small amount of space between us. “Your gay brother to meet the guy you’re fucking?”

My back meets the door. “Keep your voice down.”

Nolan stares at me. “Sindre has the aux and he’s playing that Norwegian metal shit. Nobody can hear us.”

“Still. Keep it down.”

He lets out one short laugh with nothing good in it. “Well, I didn’t tell him, did I? I didn’t say shit to anybody.”

I know. Grayson walked into a conversation about gay bars, and Nolan never once mentioned that he’d taken me to one. I stood there waiting for him to expose me anyway.

“I know,” I say.

“Do you?” Nolan’s voice is quieter now. That makes it worse. “I thought we were friends, man.”

The words hurt. We settled this weeks ago. Nolan is my friend. He’s the first person I text after a game and the person I expect beside me when I order dinner. I don’t understand why he’s saying it like I’ve already taken that away.

“We are.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me your brother was here?”

I search for something better than the truth I don’t want to give him. “I don’t know.”

Nolan looks away. The strip of light under the door catches one side of his face and the silver at his ear. He’s still close enough to touch. I keep my hands to myself.

“You could’ve sent one text,” he says. “My brother’s here. Can’t hang out. That’s all.”

I could have typed exactly that. Nolan doesn’t wait for me to agree.

“We’re…” I stop because I don’t know what comes after it that fixes anything.

His attention comes back to me. “Fucking?”

“Keep your voice down.”

“You can’t even say it in here.” Nolan waves one hand at the shelves and the closed door. “There’s nobody around, Pope. It’s just me.”

“What’s there to say?”

His face goes still.

That isn’t what I meant. I mean that we both know what we’re doing. We don’t need to announce it to make it happen. Nolan knows I want him. He knows I haven’t touched anybody else.