Page 280 of Scarbound

Duri’s expression changed.

Noeul rubbed his palms against his trousers. “I don’t know who I am anymore.” His voice dropped. “For years, I was Gong’s twin. Haneul’s best friend. Ji-Woo’s hyung. Chung-Hee’s…”

He stopped. Duri waited.

Noeul looked toward the window. “I want to know who Noeul is when none of those things are the first thing he thinks about in the morning.”

Duri stared at him.

Noeul turned back. “And I want to know what I feel for you when I’m not terrified of losing the person who saved me. I don’t want what happened to make my choices for me anymore.”

That silenced him. Yujin remained at the table, saying nothing.

Noeul moved closer to Duri. “I want you.”

Duri’s breath caught.

“I want to stay in your arms forever sometimes.” Noeul smiled faintly. “That scares me too.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know what this is yet.”

“What do you mean?”

“Whether I want you, or whether I’m just afraid to be without you.”

Duri’s expression softened. Noeul rested his forehead briefly against his shoulder.

“I want to come to you because I choose you,” he said, his voice trembling. “Not because I’m drowning and you’re the only thing I can reach.”

Duri closed his eyes. For a moment, neither moved. Then Duri said quietly, “You know I don’t need you to give me everything back.”

“I know.”

“I don’t need you healthy all the time.”

“I know.”

“You don’t have to earn being with me.”

Noeul lifted his head. “I know that too.”

This time, he almost believed it.

Duri looked at him carefully. “Then where would you go?”

Noeul hesitated. “Not my apartment.”

Fear flashed across his face so quickly Duri saw it immediately. “No.”

“A new place?”

Noeul looked down. “Maybe.”

Then something from his conversation with Dr. Kim returned.

A place where nobody knows me.