Page 331 of Scarbound

How am I supposed to leave you?

But staying because he was afraid to lose Duri would make everything he had told him meaningless. He needed to know that one day, if he returned to those arms, it would be because he chose them, not because he needed someone to keep him alive.

Noeul’s gaze fell to the black hoodie Duri had thrown carelessly over the chair earlier that evening. He stared at it for several seconds. Then, almost guiltily, he slipped out of bed, picked it up, and pressed the fabric briefly against his face. It smelled like him.

Noeul folded it and placed it inside his bag. “You can complain when I give it back,” he whispered.

Nearly an hour later, Noeul sat up again. His bag waited in the wardrobe. Fresh clothes. Passport. ID. Everything prepared. His hands shook as he dressed, each movement deliberate and restrained.

Before leaving the bedroom, he stopped beside the bed. Duri was still sleeping. Noeul looked at him for a long moment, memorizing the face he already knew by heart. Then he bent down and pressed his lips gently against Duri’s forehead.

“Danke, Duri,” he whispered. “For everything.”

He straightened before the temptation to stay became stronger than his determination to leave. When he opened the bedroom door and stepped into the hallway, his heart pounded loudly enough to drown out his thoughts. He was almost at the elevator when Duri’s voice stopped him.

“Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?”

Noeul froze. Duri’s voice was unfamiliar, tight with anger and edged with hurt.

“After everything I did for you, you were just going to disappear while I slept?”

The moment the words left his mouth, Duri fell silent.

“No.” His voice was quieter when he spoke again. “That was wrong.” He took a step back. “You don’t owe me your life because I helped you keep it.”

Slowly, Noeul turned.

Duri stood there, fists clenched, his chest rising and falling as if he were holding himself together by force alone.

“Please,” Noeul said softly. “Pretend you’re asleep. I need to go. I need to leave everything behind and heal.”

“You’re leaving Ji-Woo?”

Noeul shook his head.

“Does he know?”

“No. He would try to stop me.”

“And you think I won’t?”

Duri stepped closer, then stopped. The sight of Noeul’s trembling hands was enough. His anger weakened.

“You’re leaving me?”

“No,” Noeul said quickly. “Never.” He swallowed. “But I can’t give you what you want. Not like this. I don’t want to wake up every morning wondering whether I love you or whether I just need you because you saved me.”

Duri said nothing.

“I want to know the difference,” Noeul continued. “I need to know who I am when nobody is protecting me or telling me who I’m supposed to be.” He swallowed. “I just want to be Noeul for a while.”

“I don’t know how long it will take,” Noeul admitted. “I don’t know who I’ll be when I’m done.” His voice faltered, but he forced himself to continue. “If you meet someone…”

Duri cut him off. He stepped closer and brushed his thumb beneath Noeul’s eyes, catching a tear before it could fall. “You’re such a crybaby.”

Noeul gave a broken laugh.

“I don’t want promises you can’t keep,” Duri said quietly. “And I’m not going to promise I’ll spend my entire life standing in the same place waiting for you either.”