Page 45 of Scarbound

Bitterness sharpened Ji-Woo’s voice. Noeul’s right hand tightened around the bedsheet without him realizing. “And what exactly was I supposed to be protected from?” Ji-Woo asked. “From wondering every single day if he was okay? If he was alive?” He struggled to finish the thought. “Every time the phone rang, I hoped it was him… but not about him. I just wanted to know he wasn’t dead.”

“Maybe he felt trapped, Ji-Woo.”

“Great.” Ji-Woo let out another hollow laugh. “So he leaves, and I’m supposed to accept it because he needed time for himself?” Frustration sharpened his voice. “Why do I always have to understand everything? Why do I always have to be the one who fixes everything?”

“Because you care too much,” Duri said quietly. “I don’t know if leaving was the right thing. It hurt you. But you never stopped caring about him. Maybe he knew that. Maybe he thought leaving would hurt you less than staying.” Duri took a slow breath. “Ji-Woo… he’s desperate. You said it yourself. He doesn’t even look like the same person anymore. I know you’re angry. You have every right to be.” He continued more softly. “But maybe… this is the first time he truly needs you.”

Ji-Woo let out a breath that held no humor. “Oh… now he needs me? Where was he when I needed him? When he left… and I had to deal with everything alone?” The anger slowly drained from Ji-Woo’s voice, leaving only exhaustion. “I just…” The words came unevenly. “I feel like there’s nothing left inside me. Like a part of me disappeared the day he left. How am I supposed to forget everything? All those nights wondering what I did wrong. Why I wasn’t enough to make him stay.”

“I don’t know.” His answer came almost as a whisper. “I hate what he did too.” He hesitated. “And… you know how important he was to me.” The rest came out too softly for Noeul to hear.

A long silence followed before Ji-Woo spoke again. “What if he ruins everything again? What if we let him back into our lives… and he leaves again? Or worse…” The last question was barely audible. “What if we can’t save him next time?”

After a beat, Duri answered. “Then at least we’ll know… We won’t spend the rest of our lives wondering what could’ve happened. We’ll know we did everything we could.”

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Ji-Woo whispered.

“You won’t have to do it alone,” Duri said softly. “I’m here.”

Noeul heard every word. Whatever he had been through, he should have been there for his brother. He wasn’t. He had wanted to protect Ji-Woo from the world. Instead… he had become another reason the world hurt him.

Not Gong.

Not their parents.

Not Haneul’s death.

Not friends.

Not strangers.

Him.

Duri had been there when Noeul wasn’t. He had stayed. Noeul tried to move. To silence the voices. To stop thinking. His body refused. A single tear slid down his cheek. Then, slowly, sleep pulled him under once more.

SESSION 10

“I don’t think Gong ever knew how to be a brother to Ji-Woo,” Noeul said quietly. “They loved each other… I’m sure they did. But they never understood each other. Most of the time, they only spent time together if I was there too.” He fell silent. “Doctor… I still struggle to say Gong’s name.”

Dr. Kim leaned forward slightly. “What happens when you say it?”

Noeul looked down at his hands. “I don’t know. It feels like saying his name makes everything real again.”

“And Ji-Woo?”

“I think Gong was always jealous of my relationship with Ji-Woo. Even before he became ill, he didn’t like it when I spent more time with Ji-Woo than with him.”

Dr. Kim nodded. “Was there a moment when that jealousy became frightening?”

Noeul took a slow breath. “What happened that day… it was during one of his manic episodes.

“Ji-Woo was sitting in the living room, playing PlayStation. I remember looking at him and thinking everything seemed normal.

“But something felt wrong.

“I heard Gong’s bedroom door open. At first it was just a sound… but I felt uneasy before I even saw him.

“I hoped he’d stay in his room.