Page 113 of Barinov

I think he just likes sticking me with needles full of toxins so he can watch me crawl back to him begging for an antidote. That and the fact that he’s mainly keeping me away from her as much as possible while he reenacts all of his highlights of a life with Izzy that never existed to begin with.

It’s sick.

The worst part though, is that Bella is getting really good at playing the part of the loving girlfriend. So much that sometimes I worry how much of my sister is actually left. But then the little drama queen smarts off at me or slips up on her Izzy impersonations and I calm down.

She’s still in there. I’m just not sure how much more of this she can take.

He hasn’t touched her yet, not like the ways he did with me. He wants her to remember and doesn’t want to scare her or force her. Funny how he didn’t seem to give one single shit about scaring, forcing, or breaking my body and soul at the same time and then leaving me the second he—

Chill, Zeke. Not the point.

Anyway, I couldn’t take it anymore. So, I found one of Luca’s old anxiety prescriptions and mixed it with his wine tonight. Had to get some way to knock his ass out long enough so I could sneak back into her room.

I didn’t have a choice. She needs to know. And soon before the next trial. It’s our only hope to getting the fuck out of here.

“Yes,” I confirm. “Eden is in Ditmas Park.”

“What the hell?” she shrieks.

“Shh,” I hush.

She rolls her eyes. “What do you mean we’re in Ditmas Park?”

“He moved Claire and me in last summer,” I answer, my voice rough. “How do you think Knox found that foreclosed house in Ditmas Park for your Krolek mission?”

Her eyes widen. “That was you?!”

“Yep. I wanted you close by.” I nod. “Claire and I made this plan.”

I stop myself. Heat rises in my veins as the vision of her hazel eyes that night shoots through my memory in a flash. Her goodbye. The feel of her hands as they wrapped around mine. The blade piercing her flesh.

“It was a good plan,” I confirm. “But… it didn’t work.”

“What do you mean?” she presses, leaning in.

“I mean that’s the night,” I whisper, my voice starting to rattle. “That’s the night Claire died.”

“What?” she gasps, tears pooling at the rim of her steel eyes.

“When he found out that you and… well when you were…” I trail off, the words unraveling. “Jesus fuck, I’m sorry.”

She lays a hand on my thigh. It does nothing to stop it from shaking. “You’re not making any sense. Just tell me what happened.”

But I’m already back there. The image sears into my skull before I can stop it.

“Don’t let him change you,” she whispers. Her soft fingers wrap around my trembling hand, tightening it around the blade. She peers around and glares at the monster behind me. “And don’t you dare let him win.”

“No,” I whisper, my voice barely there.

“I love you, Zeke.”

She presses one final kiss to my forehead.

And pulls.

Bella’s steel eyes come back into focus. “Zeke?!”

“Sorry,” I whisper, shaking myself out of it. “It’s my fault she’s dead.”