Page 190 of Barinov

“No,” he cuts in, shoving himself off the hood. “You talked. I was forced to just sit and listen like a good little boy, remember?” His voice is dripping with condescension.

“Cade,” I warn.

“She’s my fucking girlfriend too!” he snaps loud enough that Knox’s head pops out of the van.

I shake my head at Knox with a simple—don’t—before he can run up here and make shit even worse. He hesitates before slipping back inside.

“I know she is,” I mutter, stepping closer. “I know she’s yours too.”

“Do you?” Cade scoffs. “Could’ve fooled me.”

Something in my chest twists. “You know it’s not like that.”

“Then what is it?” he fires back. “Why can’t I go? Do you not trust me in there? Or do you not—”

“Because I can’t lose you too!” The words rip out of me before I can stop them.

He flinches at the honesty. “Lex…”

“No.” I drag a hand down my face, shoulders dropping with a rough exhale. “You don’t understand.” I shake my head and look down to meet his eyes. “I won’t lose you too.”

His jaw tightens but he doesn’t look away.

“I’m not saying you will,” he says quieter now. “I’m saying you won’t even give me a chance to help.”

“Cade—”

“Don’t! If you go in there and something happens to you,” he snaps. The frustration bleeding back into his tone. He turns away for a second, pacing a few strides before facing me again. “How am I supposed to live with that?”

“It won’t.”

“You don’t know that.” Cade’s voice cracks just enough to catch. “You don’t know that, Lex.”

I reach for him and pull him against my chest, cinching my arms around his waist.

“If you’re in there,” I say, forcing the words out slower this time. “I won’t be focused. I’ll be watching you. Every fucking second just making sure you’re breathing.”

He huffs out a bitter breath, trying to wiggle free. “I never said I needed you to watch me.”

“I can’t help it,” I admit, tightening my hold. “And that’s the problem.”

I lean down and press a kiss to his brow. “I’d take a bullet for your ass in a heartbeat, babe.” I let my forehead fall to his. “I’d take all of them.”

His expression softens, hazel eyes glassing over. He blinks it back fast, but a few tears slip free.

“I need you here. Safe,” I say, brushing my thumb over his cheek. “I need you with the guys, calling shit out for me.”

Cade nods once. “Okay,” he whispers, pulling back. He clears his throat. “Just promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?” I ask, not letting him go.

Cade hooks his arms up around my shoulders. “That you’ll come back to me.” He releases a trembling breath. “Alive.”

“I’ll promise you two things,” I counter.

His brows pinch. “Yeah?”

“One, I will always come back to you, Cade.” I pull him in even closer until I can feel his heart beating against my chest. “And two. When I come back, I’ll be bringing our girl straight to you.”