Page 5 of Ethan’s Dazzling Daddies

Mr. Lucas shook his head, before replying, "Not at all. You're right. You are the best employee that I have, and I have, unfortunately, taken you for granted. Take tomorrow off. I'll see you the day after."

And then, with the instruction given, Ethan, Manny, and Koa left the office. They spoke as they went downstairs, and Ethan discovered that Koa was already calling Manny his Daddy.

Score for his best friend! He hoped the universe could send some luck his way.

After assuring his friends he would be fine going home alone, Ethan made the journey to his small apartment. He carried the soup carefully the entire way. He didn't want to drop a single drop.

Jacob's food was always good, but knowing there was care behind this, that the other man had stopped what he was doing to create something just for Ethan, made it even more appealing. It made him want to cherish it, to enjoy every single bite.

It was still warm when Ethan opened the lid. He grabbed a spoon, sat on his couch with his legs folded, and took the first bite. When the food hit his tongue, he had to rush to put the container on the table. Both hands flew up to cover his face and he began sobbing again, even as he tried to chew. He didn't want to choke, but there was no holding back.

The soup tasted like love. It tasted like all of the longing and want he felt made tangible.

All of the frustration from his boss calling him in, the way he'd had to leave the club, and then the moment his friend had shown up and defended him poured out of his soul with a flood of tears.

By the time he managed to get control of himself, he was exhausted. He forced himself to eat at least half of the soup, not wanting it to go to waste, and also because he knew the next time he saw Jacob, he would be asked if he'd eaten any. Then he packaged it back up, put it in the fridge, and stripped down for bed.

He put on a comfy onesie covered in tiny little hearts. Not hearts like people draw, but the actual organ. It had been a gag gift from one of his friends at the hospital after his last surgery. He rubbed at his chest, the scar there a reminder of all he had been through, of all he might still have to go through one day.

While his condition was manageable, there was always a chance he'd have to go back under the knife, a chance that he would need to be cared for, and that others would be responsible for him.

If he had a Daddy…

Ethan let the thought go, pushing it away. No need to dwell on what-ifs.

As he pulled his weighted blanket up over his body, he allowed the heaviness to coat him. He wished it could be someone's body. Ethan wanted to feel someone else's heartbeat against his own, wanted their breath to mingle with his as they fell into a deep sleep.

Maybe one day he’d get the chance.

CHAPTER 2

In the days following his blow-up in Mr. Lucas’s office, Ethan found himself confused. His boss did a complete one-eighty. His personality, which had been gruff and demanding, became softer. He was more understanding. He listened when Ethan had things to say and didn't challenge him.

When the subject of the errors in the report came back up, Ethan showed him the audio recording, and Mr. Lucas admitted he was wrong. Then he apologized to Ethan.

He apologized. After that he’d told Ethan to call him Ash instead of Mr. Lucas.

Ethan was beside himself and didn’t know how to feel. With every day that passed and the man didn't revert to his old ways, Ethan settled a bit. His heart rate evened out and the anxiety that had gnawed at him for ages diminished.

Not enough for him to go off his meds, but he no longer felt the need to leave the office for lunch every day, or as though he were fighting an uphill battle.

The relationship with Mr. Lu — no, Ash, wasn't by any means jovial all the time. They had simply reached some kind of neutral territory, one in which they worked together and at the end of the day went their separate ways. He didn't get called into the office at night, which meant he got to go to the club and enjoy his time with his friends in peace.

He hadn't felt that relaxed in years. Even before getting his job, he'd been stressed about money and his health and everything else. For the first time in his adult life, there was a sense of balance.

Of course, all good things have to come to a head.

When a client stormed into the office one day and ripped into Ash in front of Ethan, Ash could no longer keep up his facade of kindness. The moment the client was gone, his short temper returned and Ethan saw his old boss again.

Ash did calm down by the end of the day, but once that can of worms was open, it didn't go away.

Ethan noticed little things each day. A scoff here, a reprimand given in a biting tone there. Notes slid across the desk when Ash couldn't speak aloud, and they were always about something that needed fixing.

Day after day after day, Ethan could feel himself eroding, his anxiety returning tenfold. He’d believed Ash had actually changed. That there would be no more days of worry like this.

No matter how much time he spent at the club, or how often Koa tried to bring him into the fold, Ethan couldn't settle.

Even Jacob had tried keeping him company, showing up in ways that Ethan didn't really know how to navigate. For every negative moment he had with Ash, a little bit of his soul chipped away, which meant he couldn’t appreciate any of the kindness others offered.