Page 187

“Hm.”

My blush deepens. “I think ‘Hm’ is the only sound you could’ve made that is worse than silence.”

Kane laughs.

“Actually,” I say, “laughing is also worse than silence.”

He turns the laugh into a low hum in his chest. “Sladkaya… Just a few short weeks ago, I had you against a wall in my kitchen,” he reminds me. “And I stopped.”

“I remember. I was there, actually.”

“Do you know why I stopped?”

“Uh… physical disgust? Sexual repulsion? You couldn’t remember if you left the oven on or not?”

His thumb strokes across my cheek. “I stopped because I couldn’t tell whether you wanted me or whether you thought this was part of our deal.”

“Kane—”

“Hush. It’s my turn to speak, and I’m not finished.” He pushes off the door to press against me.

“I’ve wanted you since you stepped into that fucking pantry, Lilah. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve jerked off thinking about you. The squeak you made when I dragged you onto my lap? Your filthy whimpers when I put my hand under your dress?”

Oh. Good. So we’re having this conversation ten feet above my family’s heads.

He takes my wrist. “You want proof I’m not disgusted? I’m so fucking hard for you I can barely think right now. Feel what you do to me.”

He guides my hand down and presses my palm over the front of his trousers.

There is no mistaking that he means what he’s saying. He is brutally hard and thick beneath the wool. My entire nervous system flashes the blue screen of death.

His jaw locks when my fingers curl on instinct.

“That’s for you, sladkaya,” he growls. “It’s been for you since I walked into this house tonight. We’ve already spent three of the five minutes you asked for debating whether or not it’s real. So tell me: Does it feel real to you?”

Heat pours through me so fast I’m surprised the decorative towels don’t ignite. I stroke him once through his pants before I realize what I’m doing. Kane’s breath punches out against my cheek, hot and gratifyingly ragged.

His teeth graze my ear. The seashell soaps witness it all silently. Judgmental little cucumber fossils.

Then, to my horror, he peels my hand away.

“Good. So you’ll understand then how hard it is for me to say that I can’t do this.” He lets go of my wrist and straightens up. “I will not take something from you that you’re only handing over because of that debt. I’d rather want you for another fifty years than have you once like that.”

I gasp. “You think that’s why I brought you here? To this house? To this bathroom? Kane… I asked you here because I wanted you beside me.”

He frowns. For once, I’m the one surprising him.

“And I brought you up here because I want this. Not to get even with anybody or to work off a single nickel of the four million I owe you.” My throat tightens up. “I just want something that’s only for me. Something that’s only mine.”

Kane closes his eyes for a second. I wait, breathless, hopeful, terrified, wondering what the hell is going to happen next.

But when his eyes open again, I get my answer.

Because they’re on fire.

“Well, fuck,” he snarls. “You should’ve said that sooner.”

Then he proceeds to absolutely ravage the fuck out of my mouth.