Page 56 of Fake it With Me

He pulled on his shirt. I watched the muscles in his back flex, remembering what it had felt like to run my hands over them. This was bad. I was already thinking about the next time, already wanting him again when we’d barely finished the first time.

“So,” he said, turning to face me. “That happened.”

“It definitely happened.”

“It was amazing.”

“Really amazing,” I agreed. “But it probably can’t happen again.”

The words hurt to say, but they needed to be said. We had crossed a line we’d explicitly agreed not to cross, and now we had to deal with the consequences.

“Why not?” He stepped closer. I could see he was already thinking about kissing me again.

“Because we agreed. Nothing physical, nothing that would complicate the arrangement. And this complicates things.”

“Things were already complicated.”

“More complicated then. We can’t afford to let this become messy.”

He sighed. “You’re right. But that doesn’t make resisting you any easier.”

I smiled and shook my head. “On that, we are agreed.”

“We should go up,” Darek said, glancing at his watch. “We’ll be docking soon.”

I nodded and followed him out of the cabin, both of us pointedly not looking at each other. Like if we didn’t acknowledge what had just happened, we could pretend it away.

Above deck, the lights of Cloudhaven were visible in the distance. The crew was preparing to dock.

“I’ll get Daisie,” he said.

“I’m going to pack my stuff,” I murmured.

This was fine. Everything was fine. We’d had a moment of weakness, but now we were back on track. Professional. Focused on the goal.

The drive back to the estate was quiet. Daisie fell back asleep immediately. Darek and I sat in silence, both staring straight ahead.

When we got home, Darek carried Daisie to bed while I went to my room. I showered, washing away the scent of him. I needed to wash away the memory of what we had done.

It didn’t work.

I climbed into bed and stared at the ceiling, my body satisfied but my mind racing. We had scratched the itch but it did nothing to satisfy my craving for him. It only made it worse.

We would pretend things were fine and nothing had changed.

And we would be lying to each other and to ourselves.

20

DAREK

The last couple of days had been weird. Liza and I maintained a careful distance. We made absolutely sure we were never alone together. If we happened to be alone in the house while Daisie was at school, she stayed in her room or I stayed in my office.

We still ate dinner together. The three of us sat at the table every night. We were keeping up appearances even though the only person we were fooling was Daisie. Unfortunately, all that easy rapport was replaced by painful politeness.

It was torture.

We agreed it was best to let things cool off. For our sakes and for Daisie’s. After what happened on the boat, we needed space to get our heads straight and remember why we couldn’t let this become something more than the contract specified.