Page 101 of Carson

Nausea rolls over me and I shake my hands out in front of me.

I hate that I can’t forget.

The door swings open in front of my face.

“What are you doing here?” Cole asks. He leans against the doorframe to the room he’s been staying in at the warehouse.

“I’m here for your lessons.”

He rubs his hand over his bare chest, staring down at me. “You don’t give up, do you?”

“Only on myself,” I tell him honestly.

It makes him laugh. “Well, then, welcome to the club.” He steps aside and waves me into his room.

I sidestep around the clothes he has scattered across the floor.

“Lucky for you, you got the neat and organized twin,” he says, flopping back on his bed.

I lower myself to the window seat, looking out across the lake. “Wow, it’s a pretty view from up here.”

“Not bad.” He grabs a basketball and begins to toss it in the air over and over again.

“Basketball,” I say, signing the word.

He catches it and drops it to the floor. “Do you really think you can teach me all of this shit? I’m just going to forget it all.”

“Maybe, but how will you know if you don’t even try?” I pull my legs up and hug them to my chest.

“Fine, but I’m only doing this for my mom,” he says, grabbing a shirt and joining me.

I look away as he pulls it over his head. “That is the whole point, isn’t it?”

We spend the next few hours going over how to sign all of the letters of the alphabet.

“If you can at least get this down, then if you forget how to sign a word, you can always spell it. You’ll never not be able to talk to her.”

Cole smiles at me.

He’s more confident already. I dig through my bag, looking for the fold-up card I picked up at the library that shows everything I just taught him. “Here, I thought you could keep this in your pocket and practice in your downtime.”

He takes it from me. “Thank you.” He notices something in my bag, and I quickly pull it closed.

“What’s that?” he asks, pushing my hands away. He pulls the romance novel out. “You don’t seem like the type of girl that reads this kind of stuff.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” I say, angrily ripping it out of his hands and stuffing it back in my bag.

“Didn’t say that there was. Hey, I’m sorry I embarrassed you.”

“It’s stupid.” My fingers shake as I struggle with the stupid zipper on my stupid bag. “It was a stupid, stupid idea.”

Cole takes the bag from me and zips it closed. “As crazy as it sounds, it might work.”

A sound of disbelief leaves my mouth before I can reel it in.

“You know you’re not the only one in this club who is a victim of sexual abuse. Unfortunately, that’s true with life in general.”

He sighs and turns toward the lake.