Page 46 of In Your Wake

A sharp pain stabs me squarely in the chest. “Me too. But I’ll be around.”

“No, you won’t.” She keeps her head down, flipping the rock over in her hands. “Once you hook up with all those college girls, we’ll never see you again. I’ll never see you again.”

“Come on, you know that’s not true.”

“Why? You don’t think you’ll hook up?” She’s kidding, but for a second, I see hope in her eyes. I wonder if she’ll ever look at me the same way I look at her.

Probably not.

“Obviously, I’ll hookup,” I say, ignoring how wrong it feels to say that. “But I’ll need to take breaks once in a while.” I wink, but she purses her mouth to the side. She’s so damn cute when she’s overthinking things. It almost makes me wish I didn’t have to leave for college and could spend a little more time with her.

She picks up a few more rocks, sorting them, tossing away the ones that aren’t smooth enough. I offer her some of my better stones, but she only sighs and drops her hands to her sides, causing my stomach to take a weird dive.

“Mitch, I need to tell you something.”

Her tone makes my throat tighten and tugs at my insides. I force myself to swallow so my words don’t come out too squeaky. “Sounds ominous.”

Things haven’t been quite the same between us since that camping trip. There’s this distance, one I’m worried we’ll ever mend. I thought we were finding our way back to each other, leaving that night in the quiet, unspoken vault of our friendship, but now I’m worried that’s a pipe dream. Letting myself see her as more than a friend means things between us will never be the same again.

“It’s about Bill.”

I perk up. “My dad?”

Keeping her eyes down, she nods. “I need you to promise you won’t hate me.” Wet and fearful, her eyes slide up to meet mine. “Please don’t hate me, okay?”

Stunned by the intensity of her gaze, my heart won’t stop hammering. “I could never hate you, Max.”

She shoots me a doubtful glance, then bites her lip and looks away. “I knew.”

My gut reaction screams that I don’t want to take this further, but I ask all the same. “You knew what?”

She sniffles. “About their affair.”

“No, you didn’t,” I say, barely more than a whisper because I’m not over catching my dad and her mom together. It’s all still like a bad dream I haven’t woken up from.

“I did. I’m sorry.”

“How long?”

She shrinks in on herself. “A while.”

“How long is a while?” My voice is hoarse. Deep. Scary.

Tears hang at the edge of her eyes, but when she looks up at me, they spill over and run down her cheeks. Normally, I’d wipe them away with my thumbs. This time, I don’t dare touch her.

As if she’s disgusted with herself, she scrunches up her nose, her lower lip quivering. “Months.”

“Months?” I shout, my voice booming. I rip my eyes away from hers, fisting my hands so tight that my short fingernails cut into my palms.

“Mitch, I’m so sorry. I should have told you sooner, but—”

“You kept that from me, but had no issue trying to have sex with me?”

I pull myself up, chucking the stones into the water.

“What? No, it wasn’t like that. Please, don’t go. Please. You promised you—”

“How could you keep this from me? You, of all people?”