Page 94 of In Your Wake

“It’s still a maybe.” I force a smile only because I can’t have this conversation today. I’m still on edge from how everything’s drastically changed in the last few days. My failed career is the last thing I want to deal with. “What are your thoughts on podcasts?”

Spencer bumps my shoulder lightly. “Are you doing a podcast?”

“No, just asking,” I reply.

“Are we talking sports podcasts or podcasts in general?”

“Dude, whatever,” I reply with an annoyed eye roll.

“I think they’re great. There are loads of them now. I mean, anyone with a mouth seems to have one.” Suddenly, he stops walking. I turn around to face him. “If you’re considering doing one, I think it would be great for you.”

I smile. “Aww, that’s sweet. Admit it. You don’t want me to go to Germany,” I say, gripping his shoulder.

His expression falls as he swats my hand away. “No, Mitch, I don’t,” he says, his tone serious. “You know I’d never stand in the way of your career, and I’ll support whatever choice you make. But let’s be real here. You can’t go to Germany. I’m not saying you need to stay in Oakwhite, but… Just don’t go to Germany.”

In the years I’ve been friends with Spencer, I’ve never seen him so sincere, so concerned. It’s unsettling, and makes my throat tighten with emotion.

“What’s brought this on?”

He shrugs as we start to walk. “I’ve spent too much time with Bethany. She’s making me all mushy.”

I laugh, nudging him with my shoulder. “It looks good on you. Being in love.”

“Shut up.” He nudges me back a little harder, and I bump into the dock’s railing, laughing.

This new sentimental side of Spencer is unrecognizable, but I’ve been feeling the same since I came home. Being around the guys and working at the brewery has reminded me that life doesn’t need to be chaos and sleepless nights. I’ve lived that kind of life for over ten years—I’m not exactly sure I’d hate quieting down for a bit.

“Logan Tremblay wants to do a podcast.”

Spencer nods. “You two would be great together.”

“That’s what he said.”

“But you don’t want to because…”

We reach the ramp that leads onto the boat and stop. Unsure, I stare at the wooden planks.

What exactly is stopping me from saying yes to Logan? Am I holding out for something perfect? Will I even get another offer that’s better than Germany? For that matter, do I even want another offer? Is life giving me everything I could need, but I’m too fucking stupid to see it?

I release a long sigh, shaking my head and shrug. “I really don’t know, man.”

Spencer offers me an understanding smile, then rests his hand on my shoulder. “How about you put those troubles aside for today? Let’s do some sailing.”

We walk onto Quiet on the Sea, the ninety-foot sailboat yacht Spencer’s mom bought after she won her first Oscar, and I see my parents sitting at the bow, tucked beneath a checkered woolen blanket. The sun’s out, it’s a comfortable eighty today, but once we’re on the water, it’ll get chilly.

“Thanks again for doing this, Spence.”

“Don’t mention it. They deserve a day on the sea.”

Even though I’m sure Dad’s doctor would be against him boating in his condition, once Bill Adams is determined to make something happen, it does. And that’s why he’s here, basking in the sun, in the arms of the woman he loves. His color seems to have improved, though that might be last-minute hopeful thinking on my part. The tube in his nose and the oxygen tank at his side are the only real signs he’s even sick.

I pause, watching them, then smile when Mom glances up and waves. I won’t ever understand how she took him back and stuck by his side, but I get that she’d rather enjoy the brief moments of happiness they’ve got left and ignore what’s about to happen. And whatever it takes, I’ll do my best to let them enjoy their time together with all the baggage it may carry.

“Look who finally showed up,” Mom says when I walk over.

Dad turns his head slowly toward me. “Thought maybe you fell in.” His voice is rougher now, weaker, but still full of sarcasm.

I crouch beside them. “How are you feeling?”