Page 42 of Highland Flame

“Now ye are wrong. Dinna ever say that about yerself. Ye are a lovely person, Yvaine.”

“I hope ye still believe that no matter what happens.”

“What do ye mean?”

“I dinna mean a thing. Make love to me, Cam,” she said, tears dripping down her cheeks.

“What?” He looked up with surprise showing in his deep brown eyes. “Ye dinna ken what ye are sayin’.”

“I do ken what I’m sayin’. I never felt love with my husband the entire time we were married.”

“What do ye mean, lass?”

“Look,” she said, opening up her bodice enough for him to see the bruises on her chest.

“My God! He hurt ye,” he said in a low whisper. His shaking hand reached out and he touched her bruise so gingerly that she barely felt it at all. “This is why ye reacted the way ye did when I grabbed yer wrist. Ye seemed so scared of me and now I understand. Lass, no man should ever hurt a woman in this way.” He looked up to her and she started crying. She sobbed so hard that he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the far end of the room where blankets from the packing were thrown on a pile on the ground. Then he kissed her once more and gently laid her atop the soft pile, kneeling down at her side.

“I dinna ken if I can show ye love, because I have never learned how to love a woman.”

“Dinna say that. Ye ken more about the lassies than anyone, Cam.

“Aye, I know how to make them happy and feel guid. But if we couple, it will only be in lust, no’ in love that I do it. That is all I can offer, because it is all that I ken.”

“I dinna care if it is done only in lust. I need ye, Cam. I need to feel guid. Is that so wrong of me to want it?”

“Nay. No’ at all.” He gently pushed aside her bodice, lowering his head to place his lips on her bruise. Kissing her ever so gently, her head fell back and she pulled him closer. All she wanted was to know how it felt to make love willingly, and not be forced upon roughly the way Dun always did with her.

“I want to do this, Cam. Ye have my willin’ permission,” she whispered as he started to kiss every bruise he found.

“Are ye no’ worried that ye will burn in hell for couplin’ with me, right here in a priory?”

She looked him in the eyes when she answered. “Ye said everyone has secrets, and so now ye ken some of mine as well. Nay, Cam, I am no’ worried, because I already ken I am goin’ straight to hell when I die. It doesna matter.”

“Why would ye say such a thing?” he asked.

“Cam, please, dinna make me beg for this.”

“No lassie has ever had to beg for me, and I dinna think it suits ye, so I will stall no longer.” He stood up and removed his clothes. Her eyes fastened to his naked body. He was hard and ready. This excited her tremendously, as well as scared her, but she no longer cared. She couldn’t wait to know how it felt to enjoy coupling with a man. If she enjoyed it, it would be the first time ever.

He kneeled down next to her, and slowly reached out to continue untying her bodice. Yvaine closed her eyes and winced. Then she whimpered. Somehow, she couldn’t get the visions out of her head of the rough way Dun used to take her. He was always hurting her and never cared.

“Dinna be afraid, love,” he whispered, causing her eyes to flicker open. “I promise ye, I would never hurt ye. I am Cam, and no one else. Ye need to remember that. Can ye do that for me?”

“Aye,” she said, sniffling, feeling her emotions pent up so tightly that she thought she would burst.

“Just close yer eyes and relax,” he instructed. “I want ye to think of happy times, happy thoughts. Think of a place where ye feel safe. Where no one can harm ye.”

His words worked to calm her. She thought of a sunny glen she used to visit as a child. She and her friend would pretend they were queens and that the surrounding plants and trees were their subjects. They would imagine they were in a castle and that their knights were coming to marry them and take them away. The sound of the imaginary brook echoed in her ears, making her feel safe . . . and happy.

“That’s right,” Cam whispered, untying her bodice, kissing her chest as he pulled down her clothes, removing them one by one until she was totally naked.

“Just relax, and let yerself go.” His fingers closed over one breast and, for a moment, she stiffened. “I willna hurt ye. I promise,” he told her, making her feel safe and calm once again.

With her eyes still closed, she felt his mouth on her breast as he continued to kiss her. Then his lips closed over one nipple and his tongue shot out, making a tingle of excitement shoot through her. Her eyes snapped open.

“Cam!” she exclaimed.

“What is it? Did I hurt ye, lass?” he asked in concern.