Page 61 of Highland Sky

Chapter Sixteen

“Kellina? Kellina, where are ye?” called out Nash, but Kellina didn’t answer. She sat atop her horse at the crossroads where her parents were killed, staring into space, not knowing how to feel.

“Kellina, there ye are, lass,” said Nash, riding up next to her. “I was callin’ ye. Why didna ye answer?”

“I wish I had been here when it happened. I would have done somethin’ to stop them from dyin’,” she said, staring at the ground where she knew the lifeblood had slipped from the bodies of their parents.

“Listen to yerself. Ye dinna ken what ye’re sayin’. Ye were naught but a child and couldna have done anythin’ to make a difference. Ye would have died, too, if ye were here, and ye ken it.”

“How could Ciaran have done nothin’ to stop it all? Especially when he was the one to start it? He is a horrible man and I hate him.”

“It’s over now, Kellina. Let it go.”

“How could my mathair be a murderer? I canna believe it, Nash. She was always so kind and gentle and sweet. I dinna understand any of this at all. I feel like I’m in a bad dream and I just want to wake up, and canna.”

“When people are upset, they say and do things they dinna mean,” said Nash, trying to comfort Kellina.

“Hah! Or drunk?” she asked, thinking about Ciaran.

“I suppose so.”

“Och, now it makes sense why my uncle always called me Daughter.”

“Ye mean . . . yer faither,” he corrected her, realizing immediately the mistake he’d made. “I mean . . . mayhap he was yer faither. We dinna ken for sure, of course.”

Her head turned and she glared at him, feeling angry to hear him say this.

“He’s no’ my faither, Nash, and I never want to hear ye say that again. My parents are Avery and Robena. Do ye understand me?”

“Come back to camp with me, Wife,” he said. “Ye need to rest.”

“I canna be yer wife, Nash. I am tainted, and I ken it now.”

“Dinna be silly. We are married now, and none of this should affect our marriage, Kellina.”

“I dinna want to be a mathair anymore, Nash. I canna be a mathair.” Her hand went to her belly. “God’s eyes, I pray I am no’ pregnant now.”

“Kellina, stop it! Ye’ll make a great mathair someday.”

“But what if I murder someone like my mathair did? Oh, Nash, I am so frightened.”

“Ye are no’ goin’ to murder anyone, now stop that. Stay there,” he told her, getting off his horse and mounting her horse, right behind her. He tied the reins of his horse to hers. “I love ye, Kellina, and I ken ye are havin’ a hard time right now. I want nothin’ more than to help ye get through it.”

“Nash, my mathair killed both yer parents. How can ye say ye love me?” she cried. “Ye should hate me right now.”

“And my mathair killed yer faither,” he answered. “We are in the same boat, so to speak.”

“But it might no’ really be my faither she killed after all. Therefore, ye have every reason to hate me, but I have none to despise ye.”

“Ye just told me Avery is yer faither, and that is what we are both goin’ to believe. Now, no more! We’re goin’ home,” said Nash, holding her tightly, directing the horse back to the MacKenzie camp. “I willna hear another word about hatin’ each other. We are married now, and we need to get along. Besides, I could never hate ye.”

“How can ye sound so calm, Nash? Doesna any of this bother ye?”

“Of course, it does. How can ye even think it doesna? However, even though I’m upset by what happened to our parents, it bothers me more that ye are blamin’ yerself now for somethin’ that ye couldna have stopped from happenin’. We canna control the lives and actions of others, and neither should we try. All we can do is control our reactions. That is what makes us strong, Kellina. Ye are strong – one of the strongest lassies I have ever met. Dinna forget that. None of this has anythin’ to do with either of us, lass. We are naught but victims of circumstance. It was all between the chieftain and our parents.”

“I suppose ye’re right. I just wish things could have been different, that’s all.”

“Ye need to forgive and forget about what happened, and move on with yer life, Kellina, before it destroys ye. Yer parents are no’ who ye are, and ye need to remember that.”